The Same Place (The Lamb and the Lion #2) - Gregory Ashe Page 0,143
few minutes after dawn.
“So, before you make any rash decisions,” Tean continued, sounding like a man who knew he was poking a bear, “I wanted to tell you that Scipio’s going to split his time between my parents and my siblings. I told them they either did this for me, or I’d never talk to them again. And I’ll go visit him and go on long walks, but he loves those kids. He really does. And he’s going to be so much happier with a yard to run in, with people around him all day.”
The same room. The same paint. The same sun. And then, somehow, it could be different.
“Before I do anything rash?” Jem said.
“I just wanted you to know that—”
“Scipio is not going to live with your parents and your siblings. For one thing, they’d raise him Mormon, and I’m not going to have a Mormon goddog.”
“What?”
“Goddog. It’s like a godson. And for another thing, you love him, and he’s your best buddy. So he’s not going anywhere.”
“Jem, after—”
“It’s not like I hadn’t been attacked before. I’ll be nervous for a while. Scared shitless is the medical term, I believe. I’ll probably need you to introduce us again. And maybe run interference for a while. But it’s not like that attack broke my brain. I know Scipio’s a different dog. I know he likes me.”
“He loves you.”
“So that’s settled,” Jem said. “And don’t ever do something stupid with my goddog again. Understand?”
“Not even close.” In a quieter voice, Tean asked, “Do you want to tell me what you’re feeling now?”
“Nothing,” Jem said. “I’m feeling nothing. That’s why I took two Valium.”
“Oh.”
Outside, below the apartment, kids were laughing, and a woman said, “I will beat your asses with a belt if you don’t give me my pop back,” and the kids just laughed harder, and then the woman started laughing too.
“I helped LouElla get kids back in her house.”
“What?”
“I helped her do it. I went to the home inspection or whatever they call it. I lied through my teeth. I made it possible for her to have kids in that house. I was crazy, I think. I can’t believe I did it. But I wanted to know who had fucked up my life so badly. And I wanted those things, a job and an apartment and all that stuff, because you wanted me to have them. I thought maybe if I had those things—I don’t know. I guess I thought things would be different.”
“I don’t want you to have those things because I want you to be different,” Tean said. “I want you to be happy and safe. I just—I just don’t know any other way to do it.”
“She’s going to hurt those kids. She’s going to fuck them up. And I put them there. And you know what the really messed up part is?” Jem rolled onto his side. Tean was crying, his hands dashing furiously at his tears. “The really screwy part is that I did it for nothing. I think LouElla got a good laugh about that. I thought I was going to find the son of a bitch who stole my identity. I thought I was going to fix things. And then, Christ, it’s my own mom. How’s that for a kick in the ass?”
“I don’t know. I can’t even imagine. I’m sorry, Jem, I’m so sorry that’s what happened.”
“You know. You do. I saw how your family treats you. You just got to experience it all from a different angle.” Jem was watching Tean, studying the out-of-control eyebrows, the taped glasses that had slid to the end of his nose, the slender lines of his body. The light was still coming in at an angle, and deep shadows lay across Tean’s face, hid his hands—strong, capable hands, even though he always seemed so unsure. This wasn’t the right place for the doc; he ought to be outside, with sagebrush and a wide open sky, with the light pooling in the hollow of his throat, with the desert sun bright on his hair, bright in his eyes. “You know what I wanted when I was growing up?”
“Those kangaroo shoes combined with the shoes that you could pump up with air.”
“Oh my God, I did. I forgot I told you that. But I wanted something else too. I wanted a house with a yard, instead of an apartment. For a lot of reasons. Cosmic joke: one of those reasons was that I wanted a dog. But