The Same Place (The Lamb and the Lion #2) - Gregory Ashe Page 0,142
doorway, unable to take the next step.
“Could you—could you just hold on to Scipio for a minute?”
Racing footsteps, no attempt at quiet. Tean rushed out of the kitchen and then stopped. Then he rushed a few more steps. Then he stopped again. He looked awful. His nose was huge and swollen, with a bandage across the bridge and another, smaller tear along one nostril. He had a black eye, and one ear was still puffy. His hair was crazier than ever, and his glasses had been updated with electrical tape over the bridge and one earpiece. For once, he’d ditched his DWR gear and was wearing a blue SAMANTHA’S 5K CHARITY – RACE FOR A CURE t-shirt and blue jeans. His eyes, though, were red.
“He’s not here. I’m sorry, I should have told you; I thought I’d be back before you woke up.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.” Tean put his hands on his hips. Shoved them into his pockets. Back to his hips. “You don’t have to see him ever again. Do you want to sit on the couch for a while? Do you want to eat? I got—um, I got everything, actually. I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”
“I think I’ll just lie down again.”
“You don’t want a sausage biscuit?”
“I’m still really tired.”
“You don’t want a bacon, egg, and cheese McGriddle?”
Jem tried to smile and moved toward the bedroom.
“What about a hash brown? I got a dozen of them.”
“That was really sweet. Thank you.”
In the bedroom, he lowered the blinds and climbed under the covers.
Footsteps moved up and down the hall. Paper rustled. The oven door shut with a hollow boom. Then the footsteps were back, stopping at the end of the hall.
When Jem rolled onto his side, Tean was standing in the doorway, his face broken with helplessness.
“You didn’t put Scipio down, did you?”
“Jeez, no. He’s at my parents.”
“Good. That’s good. He’s a really good dog.”
“Do you want to talk? I can bring the TV in here and we can watch TV.”
“I don’t know what I want. I think I’m just tired.”
“Jem, if you’re—if you’re still scared, still upset, it’s ok.”
“I can feel whatever I want to feel?” Jem asked with another of those aborted smiles.
Nodding, Tean wiped his face. “But you don’t have to, either. Not right now. I just want you to do whatever is best for you right now.”
“When did you figure out about the Xanax?”
“I—I didn’t want you mixing them.”
“When did you realize I was taking them?”
“When we first met, back in October, I wondered. I thought some were missing. Then, when you passed out the other day, I thought about it again. I didn’t check until we got home from the hospital yesterday.”
“I took two Valium.”
“I don’t think you should take more than what the doctor prescribed.”
“I know.” Jem flopped onto his back, his arm over his eyes. As the morning light gained strength, it shone through his eyelids red, and the bandage smelled like sweat and something else, something Jem associated with hospitals.
Near the door, Tean was managing to make a lot of sound for someone who was supposedly standing still.
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re feeling?” Jem said.
“I’m really, really scared. For you.”
“I’m ok. I think the doctors told me none of the bites are that serious. Some scarring, probably. It’s going to be a bitch to pay those bills, but they’re going to have to catch me first. Maybe I’ll forward them to Mommy.”
“I’m not scared about your arm. I’m scared about all the trauma you carry around, and the fact that a dog attacked you again, and I let it happen. And I’m scared—frick, this is so fricking selfish—I’m scared you won’t want to hang out with me anymore because of Scipio. Or because I couldn’t keep you from getting hurt. Or because I asked you to get into this mess. I know I say stupid things all the time, but you matter more to me than anyone else in the whole world, and I don’t know what I’ll do when you realize you don’t want to see me anymore.”
The thing about light, Jem realized staring up at the ceiling, was that it wasn’t all big changes—light to dark, black to white. It was little shifts too. Nuances. The gray of the walls looked blue. Very soft blue. It made him think of a pair of Reeboks he’d owned before going to Decker. He thought Tean would compare it to the sky over the Salt Lake a