her there that had made him blurt out those words. Which certainly had kept her there.
Or maybe he just couldn’t stand the suspense anymore.
Was she or wasn’t she sneaking out to see Mason? Were they kissing, et cetera? How far had they gone? These questions would not leave Cole alone. He knew that Starlyn had made a commitment to God to remain pure until her wedding day, and that she belonged to her church’s virgin club. But everyone knew that teenagers who made this commitment weren’t always able to keep it, and that when this happened, though you were judged to have fallen, you weren’t punished; you were forgiven.
If he told her what he already knew, maybe she’d tell him more?
For sure he’d never have been so bold as to speak if she hadn’t started being nicer to him. But that summer it had seemed to him they were even becoming friends. Not that she ever completely lost her air of detachment and superiority or gave him reason to believe he could be anyone seriously important to her. But when she wasn’t off with Amberly or some other BF, she seemed happy enough to hang out with him, playing cards or video games. Or she would sit and let him sketch her head or her hands. (He was really dying to draw her feet, but even when she was barefoot he was too shy to ask.) She said she thought he was mad talented and even offered to collaborate with him on a comic: “Your art and my words.”
Up till now she’d shown little interest in his art and no curiosity at all about his past. But one day she surprised Cole by asking about his parents and what being in an orphanage was really like. Another day she wanted to hear what it was like to have almost died from the flu. These were, of course, the top three subjects Cole was least eager to talk about. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful to be asked. He was grateful for any attention from Starlyn. And she had listened when he told his stories, and he could tell she was moved, as he was moved when she said she was sure his parents had been good people.
She said she knew—sort of—what it might be like to lose a parent because she had no father herself. “He’s alive but I’ve never laid eyes on him.”
Another new Starlyn thing that summer was how often she would say—usually out of the blue—how much her aunt and uncle loved Cole. “I don’t think it’s possible for two people to love a body more.” It was hard for Cole not to suspect she had been put up to this. “I’ve been praying for God to do a work in your heart so you’ll know this is where you belong.”
But when he was honest with himself Cole knew the real reason he’d spoken up was to make himself look good. He wanted Starlyn to know. All summer he’d been dying to tell her, dying for her to know that he’d discovered her secret months ago and never said a word.
How could such loyalty fail to impress her?
How could it not bring the two of them closer?
And what on God’s green earth did Cole want more than to be closer to Starlyn?
The thought that she would not always be there (in fact, her mother was coming to fetch her that weekend) made him deliriously sad.
As for Mason, Cole did not like him anymore. He did not trust Mason. He was only a molecule away from hating Mason Boyle.
“Please,” she said thickly. “Please, don’t.”
Even if he’d stopped to think before shooting off his mouth, he’d never have predicted this. Don’t what? As if he were about to get violent with her!
“Gosh, Starlyn, I was just saying. I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re thinking. I promise I’d never do that.”
She dabbed a spilled tear with her fingertip (he felt this, as if she had literally grazed his heart). She hiccupped once and said, “Well, th-that’s good to know.” As she grabbed a tissue from a box on the kitchen counter and blew her nose, Cole delicately looked away. He thought she would leave the room then. Instead, she opened the cookie jar sitting on the counter and took out an Oreo.
He held his breath as he watched her eat the cookie, slowly and thoughtfully, as if she were consuming important information. The sound of her deliberate