Ryan's Love - C.A. Harms Page 0,18

hide it from her, and I refused to let someone else be the one to tell her.

“Well,” she said with a giggle as I walked into the living room, “this is a look I’m not used to.” She waved her hand in the air, indicating my attire. “Normally when you’re home it’s ratty old sweats.”

I sat down on the couch next to her and shoved her knee to the side playfully. “Is that your way of saying your dad looks good?” I tickled her side, and she squealed for me to stop as she shifted around, trying to get away from me. “We do need to have a talk, baby girl,” I said, pulling back my hands to allow her laughter to subside. I wondered if it was normal to feel sick when you’re about to explain to your teenage daughter that you have a date.

“What’s wrong? Why do you look so…” She paused and examined my face a little closer. “…nervous?”

I scratched at the scruff on my face as I weighed my words in my mind. I wanted to ease her into this, but I just wasn’t sure what the best approach would be. “You know I’ll always love your mother, right?”

The smile fell from her lips, and my heart broke when her lower lip trembled. Claire’s absence was hard on my teenage daughter, who wanted to turn to her for advice and comfort but couldn’t. I know that’s why her and my mother are so close; her grandmother sort of stepped in and filled that role once Claire passed.

Liv nodded, placing her Kindle on the coffee table in front of us giving me her full attention. “Yes,” she whispered, her eyes focused solely on me as she waited for me to explain where I was going with this conversation.

“I’ve struggled with what I’m about to tell you for a long time. I didn’t make this decision lightly. In fact, I think it was one of the hardest ones I’ve ever had to make.” I took in a deep breath and looked my little girl in the eyes. “I’ve got a date, Liv.”

“What? With who?” She sagged back against the couch, her eyes glossy. Seeing the pain in them almost did me in, and I tried to refrain from pulling her in for a hug. A father had a huge weakness when it came to his little girl, and Liv was my angel.

“You remember on the Fourth when Gran took you into Heavenly Temptations?” She only offered a slight nod. “The owner is Helen’s granddaughter, Amber.”

“You’re dating her?”

“I don’t know if what we’re doing tonight could be considered dating her. I just wanted you to hear it from me before anyone else decided to mention it to you.” She looked down at her lap, twisting her hands nervously. “It’s been hard without your momma—for the both of us. If I could do anything to go back and change the outcome of that day, hell, baby, I would in a second. I don’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t love your mother. Uncle Noah and me used to fight over who would marry her.” I smiled, remembering those times. “No matter what happens, I’ll never stop loving her.”

I spent the next hour with Olivia, talking about Claire and all our times together. We laughed and we cried too. I knew if Amber and I went anywhere, it would be a bumpy road for Liv, and I vowed that no matter what, my little girl came first. She had already lost one of the most important people in her life, and I couldn’t make her feel as if she was losing me too.

***

I squared my shoulders, held my head high, and walked toward the back entrance of the bakery, which I knew led up to the apartment above. Taking in one last deep breath, I pushed the buzzer and waited.

I could hear the thumping of feet as someone came down the steps. Then the footsteps stopped, and I knew whoever was on the other side of that door was looking out through the small window at the side. I smiled as I thought of the shocked expression on Amber’s face earlier today.

The lock clicked softly and the door creeped open, revealing Amber looking up at me with her big brown eyes, her mouth hanging open just slightly. Her hair was messily piled on top of her head, and she wore a pair of very short, frayed jeans shorts.