RUSH (Montgomery Men #1) - C.A. Harms Page 0,50

he known what kind of life I’d had, he never would have allowed it to continue. Even if it meant he’d be unable to get the care he’d needed.

Ashton stepped inside and wrapped his arms around me tightly before he pushed my door closed. “I’m sorry baby,” he whispered.

His apology hurt the most. He was a good man, he truly was, and I was a liar. He deserved better than me. I knew allowing Ashton into my life was the biggest mistake I could have made. But now it was too late to walk away.

ASHTON

I SHOULD HAVE FELT BETTER about her confession. She’d let me in, even if it was only a little, but I still felt like shit. I’d forced her to dredge up the past and its ugliness.

What the fuck was wrong with me? Why was I so back and fucking forth with this shit?

I’d never in my life been so torn over how to act, and more importantly how I should feel. The need to know about Kiera’s past took over my heart, and even though I’d tried to fight it, it ate at me until I pushed her so hard she gave in.

Now as I lay in bed with Kiera’s head resting against my chest, her light snores filling the silence, my heart ached from the knowledge of what she’d been through. I wanted more than anything to be the man that wiped away all the hate from her past. And knowing some sick fuck out there had placed his hands on her in violence only made me want to push for more information so I could find him and make him pay.

Only I wouldn’t push. Kiera had given me enough. She wanted to forget that sadness, and I vowed I’d help her do that by filling her life with so much good that those memories faded away.

It was barely daylight, and the city just outside her window was already coming to life. I could hear horns blaring and the hustle and bustle of the early morning crowd rushing off to another day at the office, but I myself had no desire to move. I wanted to stay in this moment, wrapped in Kiera’s warmth and enjoy it for as long as she allowed me to.

Combing my fingers through her silky, brown hair, I became so lost in thought that I hadn’t noticed her waking until she lifted her head and her eyes locked on mine. She still seemed so lost, like she was trapped in the memories of last night and the things we’d shared and was unsure of where to go next. We hadn’t had sex after her confession, which was an odd change of events. Normally she and I had a hard time keeping our hands off one another. Instead I took her to bed and held her close in silence. I wanted her to feel safe, and that was the only way I could make that happen at the time.

But right now, I didn’t like the look on her face. It made me feel like we were right back where we began, when she didn’t trust me.

Without another thought I flipped her over and rested my body against hers. “Don’t look at me like that,” I told her, and she frowned.

“Like what?” she asked.

“Like you don’t know what to say. Like you’re scared I feel differently about you now.” That was the last thing I wanted. “I’m sorry I pushed you, but nothing you said last night changes my feelings for you. I want you to feel free to say whatever’s on your mind at any time and not worry that it’ll push me away.” I could see the turmoil in her eyes, even though she tried to hide it.

“I shouldn’t have pushed,” I whispered as I traced her jaw with my thumb. “But I did it because of the feelings I’ve begun to develop for you.”

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard.

“They aren’t something I’m used to, and I’d be lying if I said they didn’t scare me,” I confessed. She needed to hear this from me, and no matter how hard it was for me to say this, I had to tell her. “I didn’t want to be that guy who fell for the girl only to find out she wasn’t having the same thoughts. And I always felt your hesitation.”

“I am,” she whispered, her lips trembling. “I do. And I’m scared too, because I told myself I’d never be