Not even once? I’ve been up there on my own for hours, Theo. So, yeah. I went to my father. I told him everything that happened. He was the only person who actually gave a fuck.”
She spits the last word out before turning away from me. My heart hammers as I struggle to take a deep breath.
How can she think those things about me? How can she believe that I don’t care?
“Cara, I didn’t leave the room because I don’t care about you.”
“The first thing you said was that you wanted to delay the wedding.” She takes a shaky breath. “If you don’t want to do this, just tell me now. Don’t lie. Don’t drag it out.”
I let out a long breath as I squeeze my eyes shut. Then, I take a step toward Cara, wanting to reach out and touch her but being afraid of what she’ll do.
“I want you, Cara,” I say softly. Her face angles toward me, but she won’t meet my eye. I take a deep breath. “I want to marry you. That’s the only thing that matters to me right now. I love you, Cara.”
Her gaze lifts to mine as her bottom lip trembles. “Why were you so worried about delaying the wedding?”
I let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I should have explained. I just wanted to give you time to recover and time for us grieve properly before having to smile for an army of cameras.”
I take another step closer to her, reaching for her hand. She feels cold, and I want to do nothing more than wrap my arms around her and hold her tight—but she’s too fragile. She’s like a wild animal, staring at me like she doesn’t know if she wants to bolt away or rip my head off.
“Cara, I’d marry you right now if I could. You’re the only thing that makes sense in the world. I can’t imagine being King without you at my side. You’re my Queen. Always.”
Her lip trembles as a tear spills onto her cheek. I reach up to her face, brushing it away. Cara angles her face toward my hand, sighing.
“I thought you were only marrying me out of duty.”
I chuckle bitterly, shaking my head. “No. I’m marrying you because I love you and I can’t live without you. I’m delaying the wedding because I need to be with you. Only you. I’m sorry I walked out. I should have explained.”
Cara’s eyes suddenly snap open, and she shoves my shoulder back. “You need to talk to me, Theo. I need you to be there for me, and not just focus on doing the responsible thing. We can delay the wedding tomorrow. Right now…”—her voice is nothing more than a whisper—“I need you.”
When Cara slides a hand over her stomach, my heart aches.
She’s right. Of course she’s right. I pull her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her. I’ve been so focused on organizing details that need to be taken care of, that I haven’t focused on the most important thing. Cara. Grief. Being there for each other.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair. I inhale her scent, feeling the wind pick up that will surely break my heart.
Then, we both break down. Tears come, and don’t stop coming. All the emotion that I’ve been holding back comes rushing to the forefront. We cry on each other’s shoulders, mourning the child that we’ll never have.
The Scotch tape flutters away, and I finally allow myself to break. Pain shatters across my chest, radiating through to my toes. Tears flow, and flow, and flow. Grief hits me like a sledgehammer, knocking me sideways.
The only thing that keeps me upright is Cara. She reaches up, cupping my cheeks in her hands. “Don’t ever walk away from me again, Theo.”
I shake my head. “I won’t. I promise.”
She takes one of my palms and places it on her stomach, resting her head on my shoulder. We stand in my office, leaning on each other, mourning everything that we almost had.
There’s only one thing that pierces through the darkness of that day—Cara. The fact that she’s here in my arms. That she’s knocked me out of my daze and forced me to stay by her side.
We’re together. Still. No matter what.
Always.
30
Cara
When I find out that Theo has organized a stay at the villa for the two of us to have some privacy and peace, I shake my head.
“Why didn’t you just tell me that you were organizing this? You just ran