of puce. “You? She wants you to represent the royal family? At a royal wedding? What is she thinking of?”
“Why, don’t you think I’ll know how to behave? Do you think I’ll drop my aitches or slurp my soup?”
“But you’re not even part of the direct line,” she blurted out.
“Actually I am. Albeit thirty-fourth,” I said.
“And Binky is thirty-second and at least he’s a duke.”
“Ah, but Binky wouldn’t look quite right in a bridesmaid’s dress, holding a bouquet,” I said. “You see, the princess particularly asked for me to be one of her bridal attendants.”
Fig’s eyes opened even wider. “You? Why on earth did she ask for you?”
“Because we were great friends at school,” I said, not bat-ting an eyelid as I said it. “You see, that horribly expensive education that you gripe about did have its advantages after all.”
“Binky!” Fig shouted in a way no lady should. “Binky, Georgiana has been asked to represent the family at a royal wedding, in Romania.”
Binky appeared from the library, still wearing his overcoat and muffler. “What’s this?”
“She’s been asked to represent the royal family, at a wedding,” Fig repeated. “Did you ever hear of such a thing?”
“I expect they didn’t want to send any of the direct heirs for fear of assassination,” Binky said easily. “They’re always assassinating each other in that part of the world.”
It was clear that Fig liked this answer. I was being sent because I was expendable, not because I was worthy. It did put a different complexion on things. “And when is this wedding?” she asked.
“I’m to leave next week.”
“Next week. That doesn’t give you much time, does it? What about clothes? Are you expected to have some kind of dress made to be part of this bridal procession?”
“No. Luckily the princess is having us all dressed by her couturiere, from Paris. That’s why I have to go early.”
“What about your tiara? It’s still in the vault in Scotland. Will we have to have it sent down to you?”
“I’m not sure whether tiaras will be worn. I’ll have to ask the queen’s secretary.”
“And what about travel? Who is paying for all this?”
“The queen’s secretary is taking care of everything. All I have to come up with is a maid.”
Fig looked from me to Binky and back again. “How are you going to do that?”
“At this moment I have no idea. I don’t suppose any of the servants at Castle Rannoch would like a jaunt to Romania?”
Fig laughed. “My dear girl, it’s hard enough to persuade the servants at Castle Rannoch to come down to London, which they perceive as a dangerous and sinful place. If you remember, your maid Maggie wouldn’t do so. Her mother wouldn’t allow it.”
I shrugged. “Then I’ll just have to see if I can borrow a lady’s maid from someone in London. Failing that, I’ll have to hire one from an agency.”
“How can you hire one? You have no money,” she said.
“Precisely. But I have to come up with a maid somehow, don’t I? I may have to sell some of the family jewels. Perhaps you can send down a diamond or two with the tiara.” I was just joking but Fig shot me a daggers look.
“Don’t be ridiculous. The family jewels have to stay in the family. You know that.”
“Then what do you suggest?” I demanded. “I can’t refuse to go. It would be an ultimate insult to Princess Maria Theresa and Her Majesty.”
Fig looked at Binky again. “I can’t think of anyone we know who might be willing to lend her a maid for such an exotic adventure, can you, Binky?”
“Don’t know much about maids, old bean. Sorry,” he said. “You women better sort it out. Georgie has to go, that’s clear, so if necessary we’ll have to come up with the money.”
“You want us to come up with the money?” Fig demanded, her voice rising. “How are we going to do that? Sell the family jewels, as Georgiana suggests? Deny little Podge a tutor? It’s too much, Binky. She’s over twenty-one, isn’t she? She’s not our responsibility anymore.”
Binky went over and put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t upset yourself, my dear. You know the doctor said you should try to remain calm and think peaceful thoughts.”
“How can I think peaceful thoughts when we won’t even have the money to pay doctors’ bills or for the clinic?” Her voice was rising dangerously.
And without warning she did something I had never seen Fig, nor anyone in my immediate circle, do before.