won’t date me.”
“I won’t date you because you’re taken and straight.”
Anvita thought a moment. “Okay, but otherwise let’s be clear. You’d be all over this.”
“Yes,” said Rosaline in her deadest deadpan voice, “in that very specific alternate reality we’d be totally doing it on this bar right now.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Anvita finished the rest of her drink. “And now I need to go wash the sourdough out of my hair. Before I do, though, I’m going to say a thing. And you might not like the thing, in which case I’m sorry.”
“I’m not liking this already.”
“Tough. Here it is. From my vast experience in the realm of perving on hot men I’m not going to go out with, I think Alain is one of those guys that you’d feel really good for having got. But who might not be that much fun to actually have.”
And Anvita had been right. Rosaline hadn’t liked that one little bit. “For the record, I’m having quite a lot of fun having him right now.”
“In which case, good for you.”
She bounced off and Rosaline decided to order a second drink in quiet celebration of her love life looking up even if her baking was still looking resolutely straight ahead. Sure, her master plan to reboot her life by winning a TV show was stalling out a little, and it felt the tiniest bit regressive to be taking solace in the fact that she’d found a boy who liked her, but she’d long ago got used to taking her victories where she could.
Besides, at the very least, if she didn’t get distracted by eyes and arms and an accent she was starting to find oddly comforting and wound up with Alain in the medium-to-long-term, it would be something her parents wouldn’t be able to shit on her for. Well, until they broke up, and then it would be Whatever happened to Alain, he was such a nice respectful young man, and—oh what was wrong with her, they’d had sex on exactly one occasion and she was already imagining a world where she had to explain their hypothetical future breakup to her parents at hypothetical future family gatherings.
Although maybe at that point, she’d have gone back to university and become a doctor and be the one who went a bit off-book for eight years rather than the one who ruined everything. Which should hypothetically have made the hypothetical gatherings more hypothetically bearable. So why didn’t it? Had she just got so used to failure she was incapable of imagining success?
“If I said you had a beautiful body,” drawled out Alain, resting his elbows on the bar beside her, “would you file a restraining order?”
Despite her profound case of the existential floops, this drew a laugh from her. “You must be tired. Because you were running round a ballroom all day.”
“It’s handy I have my library card because I’m a big supporter of state-sponsored literacy programmes.”
“For the record,” she said, “I can do this all night.”
He slanted a half-smile at her. “Is that another terrible pickup line or are you telling me you’re sick of exchanging terrible pickup lines?”
“Little from column A, little from column B.” She sighed. “Honestly, I kind of maybe think we should go back to one of our rooms and, you know, have the sex?”
A pause. “I’m beginning to think you’re only after me for one thing, Rosaline-um-Palmer.”
He was joking, wasn’t he? He was definitely joking. Still, Rosaline felt a little bad that she’d jumped from zero to bang without so much as a By the way, how are you?
“Sorry, am I being too much?”
“No, no, it’s refreshing.” Reaching out a hand, he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I wish I knew more people like you.”
“Um . . .” This was good, right? “How?”
“I think so many of us get stuck in our ways. We’re afraid to step outside ourselves or take a chance or try something new. But you’re different, aren’t you?”
Okay. On the one hand, she liked hearing how cool and special she was. On the other, this was all setting her up to be a massive disappointment later on. “What if I’m not?”
“Don’t be silly. Now come on—use me for my body.”
It was better this time. Not that it had been bad before, but she’d learned and he’d learned, and some of the self-consciousness that always accompanied a new partner was beginning to fall away. That was sex for you—it only got really good when