my heart racing. He was dressed in a tux with his hair styled in a careless kind of way that I had perfected for him in the past by running my fingers through it over and over again.
I wanted to run my fingers through it again as he kissed me.
Shaking my head to dispel that sudden need, I frowned up at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Natalie Cutter got me an invite,” he told me with a smug grin as he put his hand on the wall behind my head and leaned forward. “I figured it was the only way I was going to get to see you before the New Year. You haven’t been returning my calls or texts.”
I lowered my eyes to his jacket, not wanting to watch as his gaze seemed to eat me alive as it skimmed over me like a physical caress. “I’ve been busy,” I told him honestly.
“So Lucy tells me,” he said with a nod. “Stepparents have been playing tug-of-war, I hear. But have you been so busy you couldn’t take two seconds to text me back and let me know you were okay?”
My teeth sank into the inside of my bottom lip. He sounded truly concerned and that caused butterflies to start fluttering in my stomach in a way that made me feel both ill and excited. “No,” I finally answered, “because I don’t know if I’m okay or not.”
“Fuck, Kin.” His free hand lifted to rest on my hip as he pulled me into his body heat. “Baby, you should have called me. I could have—”
My head snapped up. “Could have what? You can’t make this better for me, Jace. Nothing and no one can make this better.” My voice cracked and I grimaced at how emotional I suddenly felt. Fuck, I didn’t want to be emotional. I hated it.
His blue eyes looked stormy as he stared down at me. “I could have held you, Kin. I could’ve held you and told you it’s all going to be okay in the end.”
A shuddery breath left me at those words.
He could have held me.
That was what I’d wanted when my mother had died—to have those strong arms to hold me while my world fell apart—but he hadn’t been there. Now, he was offering to do just that and I ached for it with everything inside of me, but I had to be strong and not fall into his arms. I was unsure of what I wanted and I couldn’t give in and fuck things up.
“I thought you were going to have company for the holidays,” I said instead. Lucy had told me Jace’s sister was supposed to come out from Virginia for a few days, but I hadn’t had the chance to ask her if Kassa had made it or not.
“Kas couldn’t come at the last minute so Gray flew out to be with her and Alicia.” His fingers tightened on my hip, pulling me that last inch that separated us.
“Oh,” I murmured. “Why didn’t you go with him? Won’t you be alone for Christmas now?” The thought of him alone made me sad for him. No one should be alone for Christmas.
He shrugged. “I knew you would be here tonight and didn’t want to miss out on seeing you. I’ve seen Kassa every year on Christmas morning since she was born. This year I wanted to be with you.”
My pulse started to race, but I lifted a brow like his words hadn’t affected me. The gleam in his eyes told me that he saw through my façade though. “You took a big chance, Jace. What if I’d bailed on this party? Then you would’ve stayed in California for nothing.”
The beginnings of a grin teased at the left side of his mouth. “It was a chance I was willing to take, sweetheart.” He lowered his head and rubbed his nose against mine. The feel of his hot breath skimming over my lips made me shiver and I felt more than heard him chuckle in response. “Besides, if you hadn’t been here I would’ve ditched this penguin suit and gone looking for you. All I wanted for Christmas is five minutes alone with you, Kin, and I was determined to give myself that present.”
I leaned my head back against the wall, grinning up at him. “You’re so cocky, you know that?”
“What’s your point?” He winked and skimmed his nose over mine again. Fuck. Why did that feel more intimate than a kiss? My