Rock Me Faster (Licks of Leather #4) - Jenna Jacob Page 0,83
my soul weep.
“I haven’t even thought about it yet. I’m not in any hurry. I’ll probably hang out here in New York, see if Bernie needs help packing up his things.” Ross paused and held my gaze. “I’m not leaving until you and Bodhi are back on the mountain safe and sound.”
“You could always come to Kentucky with us,” I whispered, trying to tamp down the tendrils of hope sprouting within. “The mountain has powerful healing magic.”
The sad smile tugging his lips made me want to howl. “Don’t tempt me, princess.”
“Why not?”
I honestly wasn’t trying to stab myself in the heart, but since Ross now owned every inch of mine, I had to know if I possessed a tiny sliver of his. But when he stood, raked a hand over his head with a heavy sigh, and strode toward the window, every whisper of hope inside me sailed away.
“There’s still a whole lot you don’t know about me.”
“Then tell me,” I demanded.
“And a whole lot I still don’t know about you.”
“Then ask.”
I hated the tone of desperation in my voice.
But I wasn’t going to let stubborn pride rule me this time. If there was a chance of keeping Ross in my life longer than a few short days, I wasn’t going to let him slip through my fingers.
All I wanted to do was run to him, wrap my arms around his wide chest, and beg him to come back to Kentucky with me. Instead, I waited for his reply, silently cursing the wires and tubes holding me prisoner to the bed.
Long seconds passed and Ross still hadn’t uttered a word. I tried mentally reaching out to him but was met, once again, with his unyielding and maddening wall. Frustration and anger began bubbling low in my belly.
“If you’re thinking of ways to try and convince me that you’re a bad person, stop. It’s not going to work. I know who you are, Ross. I know what’s inside your—”
“You don’t,” he barked, spinning around to face me. “You don’t know shit. You have no idea the things I’ve done. If you did, you’d call security and toss me out of this room.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Believe it, princess. I’m beyond redemption. The sooner you get that through your pretty little head, the better off you’ll be.” Nostrils flaring, eyes wild, Ross stormed back to the side of the bed. “Do us both a favor. Go back to your mountain and forget you ever met me.”
As he turned and headed toward the door, I swallowed the lump of pain, regret, and hopelessness clogging my throat.
“I can’t,” I cried. “You’re so deep inside me you’ll always be with me.”
Ross didn’t turn around, didn’t even glance back over his shoulder. He simply lowered his head and exhaled a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You deserve better than me.”
He yanked the door open, and then he was gone.
“Ross,” I screamed as tears slid down my cheeks. “Please. Oh, please…come back.”
But he didn’t.
He was gone. He’d left me with nothing but a hole in my heart. A hole that was eating its way to my soul.
When the door flew open again, hope damn near leapt through my chest, but when a nurse hurried in with a syringe in her hand, I simply turned my head and bit back a sob.
“You need to push the button and ask for pain meds before it gets this bad, honey,” she explained holding up a control and showing me how to call the nurses’ station. Then she patted my shoulder and smiled. “That will take all the pain away in a few minutes.”
When she left the room, I shook my head. “No, it won’t. It’s not going to touch the agony inside.”
Burying half my face in the pillow, I cried myself to sleep.
Hours later, I woke when they brought me a tray of food.
I didn’t bother lifting the brown plastic lid. I didn’t care what was inside. I wasn’t even hungry. I was nothing but numb. Empty. And as I stared out the window across the room, I realized I’d never been so completely broken and alone in my entire life.
The sun was low in the sky when Bodhi returned. He took one look at me and clenched his jaw. I told him about my conversation with Ross and that he wasn’t coming back. Without a word, Dad eased to the side of my bed, gently wrapped me in his arms, and held me until I