lacking, but her own. When and why had she convinced herself she wasn’t worthy of happiness?
“You’re wrong, angel. Way wrong.”
The slight shrug of Caris’s shoulders, tight press of her lips, and the sudden dullness in her eyes told me I hadn’t swayed her opinion.
Oh, but I will.
“Challenge accepted.” I smirked.
“What challenge?”
“All right, everyone. Let’s take it from the top,” Burk called out.
“You’ll see.”
I winked and returned to the tall stool next to Duke. Mind churning with ways to change her self-perception and remain a part of it when this shit was over, I fisted the mic stand and drew it in closer to me. Anticipation lit up Caris’s face, and the note she’d left on my pillow back in LA flashed in my head.
P.S. I lied. I still love hearing you sing, not Burk.
Memories of our nights beneath the tall pines, the endless stars twinkling in the sky, and Caris cuddled in close while I sang her song flipped through me.
The lightbulb that went off in my head damn near blinded me. And as Darren and Duke picked up their instruments and Ozzy and Ross settled in behind theirs, I gripped the mic.
“Hang on a sec.”
Burk arched a curious brow, but when I held up a finger and glanced at Caris, who was softly talking to Mia beside her, he smiled and nodded and stepped back from his mic. I could hear the haunting intro of the song resonating in my brain. Drawing in a deep breath, I leaned in closer to the microphone and started to sing.
“Spend all your life waiting for that second chance.”
Caris whipped her head my direction. Our eyes locked, and I saw her chin quiver as the walls she’d kept wrapped around her crumbled away.
I’d definitely been waiting, praying for a second chance, for a break that would make things between us okay.
With a knowing smile, Ozzy began playing the chords of the old Sarah McLachlan tune. Soon Darren joined in strumming the ballad on his guitar. A smile kicked up on the side of my face as I kept right on signing to my girl, the way I had each night when she was wrapped in my arms.
At the lyrics about there always being some reason to not feel good enough, a tear slid down Caris’s cheek.
I know, angel. You’ve conjured a million reasons why you’re not good enough. But you are, my love. You are.
With terrifying clarity, I realized that I wasn’t good enough for her. I’d used groupies as a distraction, a release in hopes of finding some peace. But when the deed was done, I was left empty and weightless. I’d spent my adult life hiding my own wreckage, hiding secrets, fears, and the integrity I lacked, behind jokes and bad one-liners. I could only fly away from the endlessness inside me by seeking fragments of comfort with other women, because I couldn’t find it in the arms of my angel anymore. She was gone.
Fuck. Me.
These same lyrics I’d sung to Caris to long ago had been a glaring premonition of our lives apart.
I CANNOT lose her again.
As the last note vibrated from my throat, I pushed the mic away. I stood and made my way to Caris, wrapped my good arm around her, and lifted her from the chair. Then I pulled her to my chest, branding the feel of her warm, soft curves pressed against my hard ridges and planes and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.
“I’ve waited forever to hear you sing that again.” Her voice was thick with emotion.
“I’ve waited forever to sing to you again, angel.” I cupped her cheek and forced her gaze, then delved deep into her soul. “We’ve wasted enough time…waiting.”
A flash of reluctance, indecision, and anticipation fluttered over Caris’s face before she clasped my hand and placed a ball-churning kiss against my palm. Then she threaded her fingers through mine and tugged me toward the door.
My heart was in my throat and hope tingled in my veins as we silently returned to the lodge and up the stairs to our room. I shut and locked the door behind us and held her close. I wasn’t stupid. I knew the embarrassing mischief my band brothers were capable of, because I’d taught them well.
“How’s your shoulder feeling?” A tinge of shyness laced her tone.
“It’s throbbing, but not nearly as much as my cock is right now.”
“I thought you took care of that earlier.”
I kissed the corners of her playful smirk. “Oh, I did.