against his.
La-rehn.
Vaguely, he felt Grot’s huge frame pushing against him as La-rehn pulled him toward her and out of the street.
Pushing herself into a space between two stalls, she turned and pulled him closer.
“Shh,” she whispered. “Don’t move. Don’t look. Don’t turn around.”
For a moment, he was confused but then it all came crashing back like the tail end of a storm.
The female Tasqal.
The one that had removed his tail.
The one that had wanted to use him.
Riv stiffened.
“Shh.” La-rehn took his face between her hands. “It’s okay. Don’t look. She’ll pass by and you can forget all about the bitch afterward.”
His chest was beginning to heave and he couldn’t stop it.
It was the first time since leaving the mines that he’d seen that specific Tasqal. The first time in so many orbits.
He’d imagined seeing the female again, what it would be like. He’d never imagined it would be like this.
Debilitating.
All the memories of back then were coming crashing in all once.
It was hard to keep focused.
The only thing that was keeping him sane was the soft hands against his face, and when he looked down, there she was, whispering affirmations to him as she held him with her brown-eyed gaze.
He’d been such a fool.
How did he ever imagine she was like anyone in his past?
Phek him.
He’d wasted so much time.
The thought made an ache develop within him, one different from the pain of his past that he was experiencing.
“La-rehn,” he repeated.
“I’m here, Riv. I’ve got you.”
His throat clogged up on hearing that and he became barely aware of the procession passing them by.
She had him.
Of all the things to say, those were the words that she chose…and they were exactly the ones he needed to hear.
He’d opened up to her about his past…shown her that big patch that made him vulnerable.
And now he realized something.
Actually, he’d known it from the moment he’d seen the Hedgerud fighters who’d come to take her from the Sanctuary…he didn’t want to lose La-rehn.
Phek.
Even saying it now made him shiver.
It was a huge deal admitting something like that to himself.
He’d tried to fight it, but it got to the point where he didn’t know why he was fighting anymore.
He liked La-rehn.
He liked her a lot.
As the market goers slowly flooded the streets once more, his green eyes pierced into hers.
"Forgive me, La-rehn," he said.
"For what?" Her voice was but a whisper.
He shook his head. It was too much for him to list. “For...everything."
"Riv..."
"I want you."
Her mouth opened and closed in shock, her eyes growing larger.
“I want you. I want you on the Sanctuary. I wasn’t planning to ever let you leave.” He swallowed hard. “I know that now.”
His words sounded thick with emotion and from the way she was looking at him, it was clear she could hardly process what she was feeling.
“I thought…I was best alone,” he choked out. “I thought I didn’t need anyone.”
“And now you think you do?” Her words were cautious, guarded, thick with sentiments, too.
It only took a moment for him to answer. “I know I do.” He paused.
Riv swallowed hard and he let his raw emotion show in his eyes.
Realization slowly dawned on her face.
“I’ve wanted to apologize…” he said. “I've been a bad host to you."
“Not completely. And even then, you’re more pissy than abusive.” That made her chuckle and he felt his features soften a little.
"There’s more to you than you’ve been showing me, isn’t there. I can feel it,” she said.
That made him stiffen slightly.
“What I’ve been showing you is what I’ve shown everyone else. Only you have no survival instincts.”
For a second, her face was blank, then her lips suddenly split and she bared her teeth at him.
Riv watched her, confused.
At another time, he’d have challenged her right back.
“I do not understand your challenge right now?”
Her lips closed a little before she chuckled.
“I’m not challenging you, Riv. I’m grinning. It means I’m happy.”
He frowned at her, but there was no anger in her eyes.
Perhaps he’d been reading her wrong all along.
Spreading his lips, he tried to mimic her, baring his teeth as he clenched them.
La-rehn’s grinning stopped and her eyes widened. She leaned back a little, slight alarm on her face
“Maybe you don’t try.” Her shoulders shook with mirth as she smiled instead.
For a few moments, they stayed looking at each other before she finally whispered, “I guess we have a lot to talk about.”
As he looked down at her, his gaze traveled over her features, memorizing every detail.
Pulling her close, he couldn’t think of