across the country. But what about George? This was why he needed to talk to his brother. “I honestly don’t know what I want.”
“Have you talked to George about this?”
“No. Dad just brought it up yesterday, and this thing I have with George is still so fresh. I don’t want to pressure him, and Dad said I have a few months to decide. I wanted to talk to you, because you’re the most likely to get it.”
Robin quirked an eyebrow. “George might surprise you.”
“Maybe, but he’s still young and figuring himself out.”
“You know, if Shawn found out I was withholding something this big because I didn’t think he was mature enough to handle it, he’d probably deck me.”
The mental image of the much slimmer Shawn decking Robin made Levi snort. “I don’t think George is immature. Far from it. It’s just...” Levi struggled to find the words to describe his feelings. “I don’t want him to make a decision based on what he thinks I might want.”
“Do you trust George to know his own mind?”
“Of course.”
“Then talk to him about this. I had a similar problem last year with Shawn. When I flew out to New Mexico to drive back with Lucky’s for opening day? I made the decision and travel plans before I told Shawn about it, and he had real, genuine fear that I was going to decide I wanted to go back to the rodeo. It didn’t exactly drive a wedge between us, but we did have a few tense days where he thought I was leaving him.”
“But you weren’t and you didn’t.”
“I know that, and he knows that now.” Robin reached out to rub Apple Jax’s neck. “Sometimes fear is not rational, especially when it comes to relationships. If you can’t say no straight out to Dad, then you need to talk to George about it.”
“I will. Soon. I want us to get through the rest of the holidays first. And maybe see how things go once I’m back to work full time. Neither of us has ever done a long-distance relationship, and when Bentley opens again, I’ll be a lot busier than I’ve been since I met George.”
“Yeah, you will. And even busier if you go on tour with Lucky’s.”
“Unlikely.”
“But not impossible?”
Levi shrugged, annoyed at himself for being unable to turn Dad down flat. He loved the life he had right now; he also loved the life he used to live with the rodeo. And he couldn’t make himself turn Dad down flat, once and done. He hadn’t been this turned around and confused since before rehab.
“I want to sit with this for a while,” Levi finally said. “Just allow the information to exist in my head and do its own thing. One of the things I learned about myself in therapy is that I can’t force a decision. Reacting impulsively is why I left Lucky’s and ended up in jail, Robin.”
“Shit, man, I’m not trying to push you. Just...be thoughtful.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do. I’ll talk to George about it when it feels right. Now is just too soon for us and for how new and fragile everything is.”
“You’re right, and I have one more question, and then I promise I’ll drop it.”
“Ask.”
“How will George react when he finds out you got the rodeo offer on Christmas, but he doesn’t hear about it until weeks after the fact?”
Levi tilted his face to the sky. “I don’t know, brother. I truly do not know.”
* * *
George spent the week between Christmas and New Year’s in a state of immeasurable joy. He worked on his caption assignments during the day as usual, but his lunch breaks were often spent video chatting with Levi while they both ate their meals. Sometimes Levi ate outside, but mostly indoors, as Garrett was apparently experiencing a cold snap. Even the cats were spending more time in the tiny house than usual, and it was fun watching Sporty try to snag bits of Levi’s lunch.
Twice, Levi drove into the city and they shared dinner together. Both times they got takeout, found a spot near a public park, and ate in the bed of the truck. The picnics were chilly but also a lot of fun, even if he still battled the occasional panic attack. George could be out in the world without being too close to crowds of people like they would in a restaurant.
Like he would on New Year’s Eve.
He and Orry had agreed on a double date that