distracting none other than the Daughter - of - a - Voodoo - Priest - without - an - ounce - of - magic - that's - her – own, Vanessa the Viper Vandermere.
So, doing what I did best, I pulled that crap right outta my ass and baffled that bitch with all the bullshit I could conjure.
“First of all, Vanny,” (Yes, it was petty to come back with a bastardization of her name that she hated right after she’d done it to me. Yes, even knowing all that, I did it anyway. No, I refuse to feel bad about taking the easy shot at the woman who had become my archnemesis. And yes, any person anywhere can have an archnemesis. You do not have to be a Superhero. However, I am beginning to think that I, Clementine Sue Cooper Soon To Be Hyphenated Thomas, am a Superhero in my own right.) "How did you even know that Thomas Manor existed or that I'd found my Mate? I mean, I can hear your icky thoughts. You know, Tank is my man. How?"
"I made a call to your Auntie Clara Belle and your cousin, Cathy, when I found out you'd canceled your trip back to Africa. They told me everything."
(And that's what I get for asking my mom for advice. She tells the whole damn family, even the low hanging fruit on the family tree. My cousin and her mother really were dumber than a box of rocks, but that would have to wait. I had questions. Lots of questions.)
"But I just..."
"Just did that?" She mocked. "Yeah, well, I keep close tabs on you. See, just another way that you work too hard and don't go after what you want. I'm sure you have the magic to do this and more, or powerful friends to do it for you." Her fiery glare flashed to Zelda then right back to me. "But you take the high road and play fair, and that makes you a loser."
"I am not a loser. I am a good person. You should try it." Hurrying on, not letting Vanessa get a word in edgewise, I yelled, "And, I do, as a matter of fact, go after what I want. Remember that photo shoot with the Crowned Prince and Princess of Zambia… in the desert… with the Lions and Tigers, but no Bears?"
"Yes," she ground out through gritted teeth, the lightning bolts behind her getting a little more lightningy, causing Tank to issue a warning directly into my mind, “Be careful, Clem. You’re pushing all the wrong buttons. Can’t you feel the power coming off this crazy chick? I will not let her fry your cute little heiney.”
“Thank you, my love,” I gushed because my Mate had called my heiney cute then chuckled right back. “Never fear, my hunka-hunka-prehistoric hotness, I’m following the plan. Catch up and keep up, Loverboy.” (Oops, I had forgotten to be sure that said hunka-hunka-prehistoric hotness knew what was going on. I hadn't thought of the fact that although our minds were quickly becoming one, there were still a few nooks and crannies that hadn't connected. Pushing the details from my brain to his, happy when he breathed an understanding, “Oooooooh,” I went right back to sparing with Vanessa.)
“Well, you see, I wanted that, and I fought for it. I called in favors. I made a special plea to the government of that country. I even gifted their wildlife preserve with a few of my ‘friends’ from the Swamp who were looking to relocate to a hotter, drier climate. What did you…”?
"YOU DID WHAT?" Vanessa roared, snakes literally popping out of the top of her head and winding around the stringy strands of over-processed orange hair. (See? Told you the Viper comment would make sense.) "You stole that job from me? You cheated? You bribed them?" Stamping her foot on the very thin air she was standing on and pacing around like some caged animal, the craziness that was Vanessa Vandermere pitched an absolute blue hissy fit right there for all the creepy-crawlies of Hell, her soon-to-be subjects, or so she thought, to see. “That’s not right, Clementine! That job should’ve been mine. You never should’ve…”
"Oh, wait, Vanny, there's more. You think I don't go for what I want? That you're better than me? That you can buy and sell anybody with daddy's money? You dare to imply that I don't work hard? Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Time after time, while