continuing as normal.”
Shelley looked at him. Getting it now. “Drake insisting you go ahead tonight, is he?”
“That’s about the size of it, yes.”
“Okay,” said Shelley, seeing that he had no choice. “The girls are left unharmed. Any guys are scared off and sent packing with no serious harm done, is that clear?”
“You don’t have to convince me of that,” said Bennett, who if anything looked relieved.
It struck Shelley that revenge was a burden. You carried it yourself. But you made others carry it too.
CHAPTER 25
IT WAS APPROACHING eleven when Drake appeared. Shelley, who’d been trying to relax in his bedroom, received a text message to tell him they were due to proceed, and he’d pulled on his balaclava and made his way downstairs to find the others congregated outside, the van idling close by with its rear doors open.
The night was good and dark, the moon barely making its presence felt. The cold froze their breath into clouds that hung in the air, as though held in place by an icy calm that turned the sound of their footsteps into gunfire. There was nobody around to hear but even so, they spoke in a whisper, even Drake, who had arrived from London, disappeared inside, and then returned wearing black jeans and a black hoodie like the others, accepting the balaclava handed to him by Gurney.
“Are we ready?” asked Bennett, and although he said “we” it was to Drake that he addressed the question.
“It’s not too late to call it off, Guy,” said Shelley. And he was pleased to see Bennett nodding in agreement. Less pleased to see Drake’s fists clench. The older man’s eyes were at once vacant and aflame. Shelley recognized the look of a man on a mission when he saw it.
Sure enough, the go was given and they clambered into the van: Gurney driving, Bennett shotgun, Shelley and Drake in the back. They sat on pull-down seats on springs, settling in for what during the daytime would be a long journey from Berkshire to the south of London, but at just after 11 p.m. would take them little over an hour.
There were no windows in the van, which only increased Shelley’s sense of being cocooned with Drake, who sat opposite with a look that was weary, doughy, and hangdog, but determined. Once again Shelley became aware of Drake’s grief and how it had calcified into something far more poisonous.
“Guy,” said Shelley over the throb of the engine. Drake looked sharply at him. “I meant what I said. You can still stop this.”
It was gloomy in the back of the van and Shelley wasn’t sure if he read correctly the look that flitted across Drake’s face. It looked like contempt. Maybe even something worse.
“Do what, Shelley? You think I should chicken out of smashing a few computers, do you? I thought you had more gumption, man. I thought there was a bit more to you than that. Maybe I misjudged you, eh?”
“Did Susie? Did Emma?”
“How would I know? This much I can say. If not for Susie you wouldn’t be here.”
“You should be grateful she cares. She just wants to protect you. We both do.”
Drake looked away, unwilling to accept the truth. “She hangs on to you, Shelley. You know that? She thinks of you as some kind of lucky charm. But you’re not, are you? You’re just an old soldier, like them two turkeys up front. Just trying to make a bit of cash out of fellas like me. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? With them two there, Susie hardly gives them the time of day. But you,” he pointed for emphasis, “you’re some kind of talisman for her. You know why?”
Shelley shook his head. He found he was holding his breath, unsure if he wanted to hear what was coming next.
“Because of what you did, saving them from the kidnap. She practically idolizes you. So did our Emma. You were their hero, Shelley, you know that?”
Again Shelley shook his head, feeling a mix of relief and fresh hurt.
“Oh yeah. You were. And what do you know? On the day she killed herself she called you. Emma rang you. She didn’t ring us, did you know that? She didn’t bother to call her parents before she put that gun in her mouth. Just you.
“That makes you important to Susie. That Emma was reaching out to you then. That’s what she called it, ‘reaching out.’ But that’s Susie for you, wanting to find the good, always