scared myself and I’m still shaky.
As soon as I slide the cinnamon buns in the oven and clean my hands, I grab my phone and dial Erin.
“Middle of the afternoon, odd time for you to call me,” she answers with. “Are you okay?”
I flop down on the couch and pull my legs up underneath me.
“I had a meltdown.”
It’s not the first time I call Erin to talk me down—we’ve been there for each other for years—but the last time I had to call on her was after receiving the news David had died.
“You did? What happened?” I give her the details, up to and including the point where I screamed in Kyle’s face. “I totally freaked out on him.”
“And how did he react?”
I look out the doors to the deck where the man we’re talking about is just peeking in. I wave at him and he gives me a thumbs-up.
“Put me on his lap and held on.”
It’s quiet for a moment, and then she says, in a thick voice, “I love that for you.”
“I do too, but I’m telling you now, I don’t think I’ll survive if anything happened to him because of me. I’m so scared.”
“That’s it, I’m calling in—”
“No need, Erin. The troops have already rallied. Durango PD and the FBI.”
She falls quiet again but I can hear her thinking, so I wait her out.
“That’s good, honey,” she finally says softly. “Except for that creep making himself known, these are all good things, so what has you so freaked out?”
“I’m scared for him: Sumo…Kyle.” She makes an encouraging sound and I know she’s seeing right through me and knows that’s not the full picture. “And I’m scared because…I don’t know what the future looks like.”
“Oh, Annie, have a little faith. I know you’ve lived a carefully controlled life, and I get you feel like you’re free-falling, but trust me when I say it can be a beautiful thing to let go. Trust there is someone who will steady you when you stumble.”
That’s the crux, isn’t it? Here I am, almost forty-five years old, with only an abandoned acting career to my name. The life I’ve made here is already much more valuable to me than the one I left behind, and I’m afraid of losing that, afraid of losing the people in it.
“I haven’t even told him,” I confess.
“You’ve had other things on your mind,” she excuses me like a friend would. “Are you eating?”
“Yes.”
“Regularly?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll find the right time, but, Annie, I wouldn’t be surprised if he already knows.”
“You think?”
She chuckles softly. “Girl, you could’ve started eating a large pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily since I last saw you, and you’d still blow away on a stiff wind. You’ve spent almost a week in the man’s house so I’m assuming he’s seen you eat, and, honey, he’s an EMT.”
She makes a good point. David was always pushing me to eat more, but Kyle never does that. He doesn’t even question the fact I rarely eat anything of the desserts I make every night.
She’s right, he probably already knows.
We end the call with promises to be in touch, when the oven timer goes off. I get up to check the oven just as the door slides open and Kyle sticks his head in.
“Are those cinnamon buns?”
He steps inside, Jasper right behind him, sniffing the air.
“Damn, that smells good.”
“I’m just pulling them out of the oven, they’ll need to cool off a little before I can ice them.”
Kyle is already pulling plates down from the cupboard.
“I don’t need icing. You?” he asks the other man, who makes himself comfortable at the island.
“Hell no. Bring it on.”
Barely two minutes out of the oven and already two grown men are burning their faces on the hot cinnamon buns.
“Save some for Bryce and his friends.”
“Shit,” Kyle looks at the kitchen clock. “We should probably head up there.”
Ten minutes later, we’re heading up to the Arrow’s Edge compound, an overnight bag for Bryce and a tray of cinnamon buns on the back seat. Kyle had decided earlier, at Tony’s suggestion, to see if his son could stay at the compound for one or two nights. Long enough for Jasper to get the security system installed and for Keith and Tony to track Will Parsons down. My new neighbor is currently at the top of their list, even though I’d never seen the man before he moved in.
The cameras they installed are supposed to be monitored by Jasper, who should be able to