when Hillary Barnwell’s voice sounded on the phone’s tinny speaker. Hillary had been at Longwood Academy with her. And without Hillary’s courage and friendship, Jessica might never have survived being banished from her family for something she hadn’t done.
“What’s wrong?” Hillary asked, her voice low, sober, intense. After all these years, Hillary could still read Jessica’s tone of voice, even over the phone.
“I freaked out,” Jessica said. “I had a panic attack. I haven’t had one of those in years.”
“What happened?”
In a shaky voice, Jessica summarized everything that had happened from the moment she’d stepped onto Bachelor’s Delight until Topher had grabbed her by the wrist.
“And what did you feel? Did he scare you?” Hillary asked when she got to the last of her story.
Oddly, the question stopped Jessica cold. “Yes. No. Yes.”
She couldn’t quite make herself explain how Topher’s touch had been gentle and strong and like a jolt of electricity that branded her. And at the very same time, it had frightened her.
“Look, no one says you have to do anything that makes you feel unsafe,” Hillary said.
“That’s the thing. I mean, he touched me, but he didn’t hurt me. It was just confusing, you know.” She didn’t give voice to what had really upset her. How in that moment she’d felt a jolt of unwanted attraction.
How could she possibly be attracted to Topher Martin? How could she be attracted to a man who thought it was okay to grab her like that? Down deep, a familiar shame churned in her gut.
She pushed the uncomfortable feeling away and focused on the important thing: She was not stupid enough to be attracted to the myth of the big strong man. But she wasn’t ready to talk about the way Topher made her feel, not even to Hillary.
So she changed the subject. “It’s not just him, you know. It’s…everything.”
“What?”
Reluctantly, she told her friend about Colton’s suggestion that they give the gossips of Magnolia Harbor something to talk about.
Hillary laughed.
“You’re laughing at me? Really?”
“Yeah, but in a good way.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Honey, when are you going to realize that Colton St. Pierre checks off every box on the husband-material list.”
“Stop.” Jessica climbed out of her VW and slammed the door. “I know what you’re about to say, but you’re wrong. I’m not in love with Colton, and I’m not looking for a husband. I know you’ve found wedded bliss, but that’s not for me.”
“Sweetie, do you even know what love is?”
That stopped her. Did she know? Probably not. She’d never really been loved. And she’d never been in love. She’d had a few bed buddies, so she was no longer the little virgin who’d been sent away to a tough-love school for troubled teens. But relationships were complicated.
“Look, this is not about me being in love, okay? It’s about me trying to salvage my friendship with Colton. Just the other day, he took my landlady out to dinner, and I’m thinking I should try to encourage that. You know, find him a wife. Because once he’s married, we could lay the gossip to rest and just be friends.”
“Are you out of your mind? You want to start matchmaking?”
“Well, okay, when you put it that way, it’s kind of over the top. But if Colton checks off every box on the husband-material list, then he deserves to have a wife, right?”
“Yeah. But—”
“My landlady is single.”
“Oh, please. Don’t go there.”
“I’m serious. She’s, like, the best-looking single woman in town. And she’s got a business, and she’s nice, and she’s perfect.”
“You’re perfect.” The piercing wail of an infant interrupted Hillary’s well-worn sermon on the subject of Colton St. Pierre. “Damn. The heir is up and needs milk. Hang on a sec,” Hillary said.
“How is the darling boy?” Jessica asked.
“He weighs fifteen pounds and he’s cutting a tooth.” Hillary’s voice sounded soft.
Jessica continued into the house, down the hall, and out to the back porch. She sank down into one of the Adirondack chairs and watched the surf as it pounded the shore. She loved the back porch on her grandmother’s house.
“I’m back. So, I would not recommend matchmaking,” Hillary said, “unless you’re matching your own self up with Colton.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right about the matchmaking part. I’ll just let nature take its course on that. Kerri is gorgeous and successful.” She blew out a sigh. “And in the meantime, I’m in trouble. I may fail at this business, and I may have to sell MeeMaw’s house.”