He resembled a kicked puppy, and I couldn't deny it made me feel some sympathy toward him. I sighed. “But I do appreciate you didn't kill Trisha and that you've kept them safe. You've made sure they both sobered up so they could take care of May. Despite everything, I'll always be grateful for that.”
He swallowed and brought his eyes back to mine. “You don't have to be grateful. It was all for you.”
“Trisha told me she had a narrow escape,” I revealed. “Why did you spare her life?”
He caressed my cheek. “Because you begged me.”
I gazed at him, shaking my head. “I thought you didn't care.”
“I thought so too,”—he confessed with a sad smile—“but when the moment came, I couldn't do it.”
“Why?” I truly didn't understand.
He shrugged. “I just couldn't. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't make myself give the order so I told them to abort the whole thing.”
“And you made me believe you went through with it and she was dead,” I said, narrowing my eyes.
“Cara, I know how bad this looks, but I didn't want you to know how much power you had over me,” he confided in a humble tone. “I was supposed to teach you a lesson and instead, I gave in to your tears and begging. You've tried to shoot me and I still didn't have it in me to order Trisha's murder. It was a whole new level of weakness you inspired within me and I wasn't prepared to deal with it, let alone admit it. Those kinds of powerful feelings had no place in my life...especially when they were not reciprocated. I was very much ashamed of them, Olivia.”
Alessandro Damiani, the ruthless capo, lay next to me and once again talked about his feelings. The sight was so incredible it never ceased to amaze me. “Regardless, I'm glad you didn't do it,” I said sincerely.
“You shouldn't be. After all, you were the one who ended up paying for it.” He trapped a lock of my hair between his fingers. “The inability to go through with it made me furious with myself...and I took my anger out on you.”
“It's okay, Alessandro,” I said in a mechanical voice. “We don't have to talk about it.”
“No, cara, we do. Those scars will never go away. I can give you a thousand happy memories to replace the pain I've caused you, but they will always be there as a bitter reminder of what I've done. You don't know how much they torment me. You don't know how much I want to erase them.”
“But I don't,” I muttered, and forced a short smile on my face. “I don't want them to go away. I used to hate them, but now they’re a part of me. You know how they say...what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I guess I'm a true believer in that.”
“You're very brave, cara. You're absolutely stunning,” he murmured, caressing my face. “And I don't deserve you, but I feel like I'll go insane if you leave me and I have to live without you. No matter what happens, I want you to know there is never going to be another woman for me. Tesoro, you are it.”
His voice was heavy with a mixture of strong emotions the like of which I had never witnessed before. It was as though he opened up to me, and bared the secrets of the deepest depths of his dark soul. I glanced up into his eyes and noticed they were red and filled with tears. One…only one single tear rolled down his cheek and it was enough to make me stop breathing. “Alessandro...”
“I need your forgiveness, Olivia.” He expelled a shuddering breath and inhaled some air as if to compose himself. “I need it like I need the air to breathe and I'll do anything you want to earn it. Anything,” he repeated. “You just have to ask.”
Taken aback, I gazed at him for a long time. During the past few months, Alessandro had repeatedly expressed his regret, but he never sounded so desperate about it. He appeared truly frightened that I might leave him. In a way, that was exactly what I was supposed to do. But it wasn’t that simple anymore. As much as I hated to admit it, his efforts to mend our marriage didn’t leave me indifferent. Blind to danger, I was trapped in a constant battle between emotion and reason. My heart