He sounded overly self-assured. “Did you not derive any pleasure from it, Olivia?”
I exhaled and gazed at him, refusing to cower away and feel ashamed for something that wasn't my fault. “There was pleasure, but there was also pain...lots of it.”
His forehead creased, every sign of teasing gone from his expression. “And you don't like the pain?”
“No, Alessandro, I don't like the pain,” I said quietly, twiddling my thumbs around each other. “As a matter of fact, I hate it.”
“Then there will be no more pain.” His eyes bored into mine as he came closer to whisper in my ear. “Only sweet, gentle love making. Would that make you happy, cara?”
I'm not that guy tesoro. I don't make love. I don't do sweet...The memory of his threatening words from long ago rang in my mind and I moved away from him. “Don't do this...” I said quietly.
“Do what?” he asked, shrugging his shoulders.
“You're not that man, Alessandro,” I whispered accusingly with a pointed finger. “Stop pretending that you are.”
“There is no pretending, cara.” He stared straight into my eyes. “I'm just listening to what you have to say. I want to keep you by my side and I'm willing to make a lot of concessions to do that. I'm going to compromise on all departments if that's what it takes to save our marriage.”
“But intimacy will always be a given?” I challenged.
He inhaled deeply and remained silent for a moment, as though measuring the words he was about to say. “Olivia, I don't see myself living in celibacy for the rest of my life,” he murmured with a slight shrug. “So the answer is yes...eventually I will want us to be intimate, but I promise not to pressure you before you're ready.”
“Do you expect it to happen on this trip?” I asked the burning question.
“I have no expectations, but if it happens, it happens...I don't see it as something that can be planned. In any case, you can rest assured it has nothing to do with my request to share a bedroom, so there is no reason for you not to accept,” he argued.
“You swear?” I demanded a confirmation.
He exhaled and shook his head, smirking. “If that makes you feel better, piccola, then I swear to you I won't insist on intimacy. But I do insist that you share a room with me. Fair enough?”
“Fair enough,” I relented quietly, and mimicked his question. “Anything else?”
“As a matter of fact, there is something else.” He smiled and brushed his fingers along my hair. “I want you to grow it back.”
I parted my lips, baffled by his request. “I'm not sure I want to, Alessandro. I already got used to this length.”
“Please, cara. It's important to me,” he murmured.
“But that's the point,” I asserted despite the possibility it might upset him. “It shouldn't be about you. I should be able to make that decision for myself. It's my hair.”
He expelled a long breath. “Fine. I guess I deserve that. I shouldn't have made you cut it in the first place.”
Just like that, the subject was dropped. This time, Alessandro was the one to look away. He took out his phone and typed a message to someone. To say I was confused by his demeanor would be an understatement.
I bit my lip, unsure. “Alessandro...” In an ironic twist, now I demanded his attention.
He glanced at me. “Yes?”
“Are you really going to let me work?” I wanted to make sure I didn't misinterpret his earlier statements.
He gave me a knowing smile and shrugged. “Do I have a choice?”
“And you're going to let me go back to school?” I asked in honest disbelief.
“If that’s what you want,” he said softly. “Personally, I always hated studying, but to each their own.”
“And—”
“Yes, cara,” he interjected. “I will gladly pay for your driver's license. No problem.”
For a moment, I was utterly speechless and convinced he was toying with me. Either that, or an invisible alien possessed his body.
“Are you joking with me because if you are...”
“Do I look like I'm joking, Olivia?” he asked bluntly.
I tried deciphering his expression, but it was unreadable. Nevertheless, I shook my head in negation.
“Let's get one thing straight,” he murmured, then raised his voice slightly. “I’m not happy about this, but—as you pointed out—you should be able to make your own decisions. I will step back and let you do that, but please keep in mind there are limitations to your options. I will not agree with anything that might put you