shirt as I gazed at him with a healthy dose of mistrust. Once again, he brushed his fingers along my scars. His touch was slow, gentle and...caring. It was almost as though he wanted to somehow erase those traces of violence he himself had placed on my skin.
“I've been thinking a lot, Olivia,”—he said softly—“and I'm afraid I have very little to say to you that would justify my actions. I tried, but I can't remember.”
“It's all right,” I breathed, forcing every muscle in my body to remain still in his embrace and endure his touch on my scarred back.
“No, cara,”—Alessandro retorted—“it's not all right. Please tell me what happened so I can at least try to make sense of what could have possibly driven me to do this.”
Revealing the truth could end in grave consequences. Alessandro wasn't a fool. If I told him about our marriage, he might just connect all the dots and realize his accident was no accident at all, but me who wanted him dead. “Alessandro, I'm sorry, but I can't,” I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Cara, do you realize that this isn't fair to me?” he pointed out. “I might never remember.”
Tears glistened in my eyes and I choked them back. I wouldn't cry again. It was pointless. “I don't want you to remember,” I whispered.
“Why not, Olivia?”
“Because I don't want it to be like it used to be,” I admitted.
“By the looks of it, it used to be bad,” he said matter-of-factly.
I nodded my response.
“And if I remember, it's going to be bad again?”
“Yes, Alessandro. It’s going to be bad,” I whispered.
“What if I made you a promise that things would never go back to the way they were?” he reassured. “Would that make a difference?”
I gave him an uncertain look. “You can't make that promise.”
“Why?” He frowned.
“Because you’re not in your right mind. You’re not acting like yourself,” I said with absolute conviction.
Murky shadows clouded his gaze. “Cara, judging by those scars on your back, I think it's safe to say I haven't been in my right mind for quite a while before the accident.”
I gaped at him, once again refusing to acknowledge his scolding comment.
“Olivia, whatever it is you can tell me. I won't hurt you. I just need to understand,” he urged softly.
His pleading eyes bored into mine and I crumbled under the pressure. “It was a punishment,” I blurted out in a strangled whisper.
“A punishment for what?” he inquired quietly.
That was the annoying thing about answers. They only caused more questions. I swallowed the pain and exhaled. “Disobedience.”
His head jerked back. “What the hell?”
I didn't know what reaction I expected, but it wasn't that. “There were rules and I'd get punished if I broke them,” I clarified.
Alessandro briefly closed his eyes as though pained. “So which rule did you break?”
Blood froze in my veins. “I don't remember,” I muttered, and looked away from him.
He tilted my chin and fixed his gaze on mine. “Yes you do, cara,” he murmured. “We have already established I’m the one with amnesia. You wouldn't be able to forget something like that.”
I closed my eyes shut. Breath trembled from my lips.
“Please...I need to know.” He humbled himself in front of me again, and it was my undoing.
“I tried to leave you,” I mumbled in slight fear.
He wasn't upset like I had expected him to be. Instead, he remained calm and perfectly still. “Because I was a bad husband to you?” he asked rhetorically.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“That wasn't the first occasion you got punished, wasn't it?” His voice was constricted with some kind of indecipherable emotion.
I shook my head.
“What else?” he demanded.
“Alessandro, please let's not talk about the past,” I begged, shaking my head. “I'm over it. I really am.”
“Cara, you have to cease living in denial.” He pulled me closer and laid a soft kiss on my forehead. “Perhaps you're trying to convince yourself that you're strong enough to push it aside and forget, but I can see you’re hurting. Now I know why, and I can't let it rest.”
“What do you want me to say?” I asked in a resigned tone.
Alessandro brought his eyes to mine, and a hard resolution swirled in his dark stare. “The truth. No matter how ugly it is.”
I closed my eyes and expelled a constrained breath. Focusing on his everlasting gentle touch on my back, I breathed in silence. Alessandro didn't push me to speak. He waited, and never stopped touching me. Memories slowly emerged to the surface, turning into