death. Amen.”
She finished the tenth Hail Mary and then the Glory Be to the Father before opening her eyes. She shifted on her knees in front of Daniel’s shrine and stared at his graduation picture before closing her eyes again and starting the next Mystery. The Crowning with Thorns. She said the Our Father while she imagined a Roman solider in front of her, pushing the crown of thorns down on her head. She imagined the blood running down her face. She started the Hail Marys again.
She finished her last Hail Mary and immediately started on the Carrying of the Cross. She didn’t like this mystery. She imagined herself carrying the heavy cross down a dusty street. When the Roman soldiers told Simon of Cyrene to take the cross from her, she pushed him out of the way and continued up the hill. She recited the tenth Hail Mary in a rush, excited to get to the last Sorrowful Mystery, the one she liked the best. The Crucifixion.
She closed her eyes tighter and straightened her back as she knelt. She said the Our Father and thought of herself being nailed to the cross. She imagined the hand of the Roman solider touching hers as he positioned the nail and pounded it in. Sometimes when she had the visions, she would feel a sharp pain in her hands and feet. On those days, she was closest to God. Today she felt only a dull ache. She started on the first Hail Mary and imagined herself being nailed to the cross over and over. By the time she reached the last Hail Mary she was sweating. Next she was supposed to say the First Glorious Mystery, but instead Maxine said a Glory Be to the Father and a last Our Father.
She tried to stand up but had to put her hand out on her bed to pull herself up. She smoothed the bed as she stood up stiffly. It was the bed that had been in Daniel’s nursery. The one she had nursed him in when he was a baby. She had slept in Daniel’s room until he was almost eight. Ron had stayed in Ernesto’s room in a crib until he was three. Ernesto had never complained about it. But one day, when she came back from the store, Ernesto had moved her bed back into their bedroom and pulled Ron’s crib into Daniel’s room. She had had insomnia since then, but hadn’t moved the beds back until Melissa was born.
Maxine stood up the rest of the way and kissed the feet on the crucifix on the wall above her, crossing herself.
Veronica Cordova stood in the doorway of Maxine’s bedroom, her hands folded in prayer. Maxine didn’t know how long her friend had been standing there.
“I prayed a rosary for Melissa this morning, too,” Veronica said. “Maybe we can pray one together for her later.”
Maxine just nodded and walked past Veronica, who had been with Maxine since she’d fainted earlier that morning. The two women went into the kitchen. Veronica busied herself making coffee. Maxine stared at the cold toast and coffee, still on the table, that Detective Montoya had made her.
Her box of newspaper clippings was also on the table. She sat down and pulled it over, stopping to read a few highlighted words.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I called the funeral home,” Veronica was saying. “I hope that was all right. I thought you’d want to use the same one that we had for Daniel and Ernesto.”
Maxine looked up at Veronica, who had finished making the coffee and was starting to clear off the table. They had met when Veronica and her husband had built a house three doors down. That had been so long ago. Almost forty years. That’s how long Veronica had been coming over to her house every morning for coffee. They would talk about planting their gardens and share news about the neighbors. Ron and Manny had played on her kitchen floor together since they were babies.
Ron had called a little while ago, asking her how she was doing and wondering if he should come home. She had told him that she would be fine with Veronica.
She pulled another clipping out of the box and smoothed it on the table. This one was about a new study that promised a cure for drug addiction. She found a pen in the box and used it to underline the words vaccine and dopamine. The last line