your foot,” Rocco says when I stop to stand in front of him. “The ice helped with the swelling, but for all we know, it could be a twisted wreck beneath the surface.”
“It’s fine,” I assure him for the hundredth time this evening. I can barely feel its throb. Not only has the swelling settled, nothing can compare to the pain in my chest. It’s as bad as it comes. “We iced and strapped it. What more could it need?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Rocco answers, unaware I wasn’t asking a question. “Perhaps a splint… or how about some pain medication? That might help, too.”
“Truly. I’m fine. I swear to you.” I run my hand down his arm, genuinely grateful for his company the past three hours but more than ready to have a few minutes of solitude. “While I shower, why don’t you head down and release some of the excess energy that has you bouncing around like an Energizer Bunny.”
He smiles before shaking his head. “I’m good. I like hanging out with you.”
His reply warms my heart, but it does little to weaken my campaign. “I need some time to process everything.” When his brows pinch as confused by the angst in my tone as me, I make out it isn’t as big a deal as it is. “I need to use the bathroom… in private.”
“Oh…” His pupils dilate to the size of saucers before he adds a second, “Oooh,” into the mix, this one longer than his first.
Even mortified, I nod my head to the humor-filled questions in his eyes. I’d rather he believe I’m about to stink up the place than continue my struggle to hold back the wetness in my eyes. Just like I don’t stand out in a crowd, I’m not one of those girls who can pull off devastation without bloodshot corneas, scary suitcase-size bags under my eyes, and a heap of snot.
India’s residence is gorgeous and regal—just like her—but its walls are paper-thin. Rocco and I hear her staff’s incoming arrival long before they knock on the door of my room. The knowledge makes me grateful my room is in the equivalent of the basement. I’ll be out of the loop with what’s going on, but since that includes reuniting couples, my inquisitiveness is more than happy to face the injustice.
After tugging on a pair of gray sweatpants sans underwear and a crisp white tee from a bag one of India’s staff brought down earlier, Rocco rejoins me next to the carved wooden door that leads to the bathroom. “If you need me, call out to Smith. He’s always listening.”
The realization that I’m being forever watched usually comforts me. Regretfully, this time around, it doesn’t. It isn’t that I believe Smith will tattle on me, I’d just rather our reunion occur without the awkwardness it is already going to be filled with.
In a last-ditch attempt to rile Dimitri, Rocco presses his lips to my temple. It isn’t a quick half-a-second peck. His lips linger long enough for me to hear the gurgle of his stomach when nothing but heartbreak teems between us.
I appreciate what he’s doing, and I love that he still has my back even with Dimitri’s wife resurrecting from the grave, but I also hate it. Audrey is fighting for her life. Now is not the time to force her to glove-up for someone she never truly lost. At the end of the day, no matter what happens, she is Dimitri’s wife and the mother of his child, and I am… nobody.
Incapable of holding back my devastation for a second longer, I briefly lean into Rocco’s embrace to accept a comfort I don’t deserve before I dash into the bathroom as fast as my quivering legs will take me, shutting the door behind me.
With my eyes shut and my heart in lockdown, I squash my back against the carved wood, my tears not permitted to fall until the squeak of a second set of hinges sounds through my ears. When that occurs, my sobs are devastating. I’ve been holding them in for days, so I expected nothing less than pure carnage when I finally permitted them to fall. They howl through me on repeat, not slowing even when the wetness flooding my cheeks becomes too much for my swiping hands to keep up with. I cry and cry and cry until the hottest water won’t remove the red streaks from my cheeks, and I fall asleep on the tiled floor, alone