did!” Mulan protested. She picked Cri-Kee off Mushu’s back. “Maybe he has a lucky cricket.”
Cri-Kee chirped in agreement.
Mushu crossed his arms. “I still think you’re hiding something from me. I don’t like it, Mulan. Not one bit. You know you’re not supposed to lie to your guardian.”
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.”
“Later?”
“Tonight,” she amended. “After we finish marching.”
The dragon nodded. “Deal.”
While they marched, Mulan walking Khan by his reins in the middle of the line, she watched Shang. For someone who’d been at death’s door only a day ago, he led the soldiers admirably. They cheered around him, singing and whistling as they marched. Shang didn’t join in. She could tell his injury still bothered him, for every now and then he limped when he walked. But he wouldn’t accept her or anyone’s help, which didn’t surprise her.
Still, he was being quiet. Unusually quiet, even for him. He hadn’t smiled since breakfast.
“What’s wrong with the captain?” Yao said, nudging Mulan in the rib. “He doesn’t look happy to be alive.”
“He is happy,” Ling contradicted. “Look, he’s not frowning. When he’s not frowning, he’s happy.”
“What do you think, Chien-Po?” Yao asked.
“Hmm.” Chien-Po pressed his hands together. “He looks like he’s contemplating something.”
Chien-Po’s right, Mulan thought, casting her gaze on Shang. Chi Fu was at his side, prattling on and on about all the honors the Emperor was bound to bestow upon him for his excellent record keeping and military counsel, no doubt. Shang didn’t look like he heard a word of it. He didn’t even look like he was pretending to listen.
He looks preoccupied.
Mulan wondered what Shang was thinking about. She had to restrain herself from going up to him and asking. She’d gotten used to being at his side, but now that they were back in the living world, she constantly had to remind herself that he was her superior officer. She couldn’t just go up to him and ask him what was on his mind. Not in front of the other soldiers, anyway.
So it surprised her when, in the middle of the day, after hours of marching, he came to find her.
He tapped her shoulder.
“Can I talk to you?” Shang said.
Seeing that the rest of the soldiers were at Mulan’s side, he cleared his throat and assumed a more authoritative tone. “Ping, walk with me. Chien-Po will lead the troops for now. Don’t slow down.”
Mulan passed Khan’s reins to Ling. She saw Mushu try to follow her, but she gave a tiny shake of her head. Yao and Chien-Po sent curious glances her way, too, but Mulan ignored them and followed Shang.
He didn’t say anything for a long time. The two simply walked, putting space between themselves and the rest of the soldiers.
“What’s on your mind, Captain?” Mulan finally asked.
Shang blinked. He sighed. “Too much. I barely know how to sort it all. The war is over, the Huns are defeated, and…”
“And?” she prodded gently.
“Honestly, I don’t know how I’m alive.” Shang hesitated. “The wound I got from Shan-Yu should have killed me. Yet here I am, walking, not even two days after he attacked me. Even the pain is mostly gone.”
The desire to tell him everything tugged at Mulan. She ignored it. Shang would think she was crazy.
“It’s a miracle, like the soldiers say,” she replied instead.
“Maybe,” Shang allowed. “But part of me wonders—” He restarted the thought. “I had a fever…and slipped in and out of consciousness. My memory of everything is hazy. I mean, I heard and saw things that I don’t even know were real.”
Mulan’s heart lurched. Could it be? She pursed her lips, trying hard not to give anything away. “What do you remember?”
“I…I remember being so sure I was going to die that I asked you to go to my mother, and…and—”
Oh. “And take your ashes to her,” Mulan finished quietly. “Yes, that happened.”
He still didn’t look at her. Instead, he frowned. “Then I had the strangest dream, Mu—” He stopped. “Ping. You’re going to think I’m crazy.”
Had he almost just called her by her true name? Mulan stifled a gasp. She nearly forgot to keep walking—her legs felt suddenly light, along with the rest of her.
“Tell me,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. “I’m listening.”
“I heard my father’s voice. I couldn’t really understand what he was saying, because…because I was dying, and I was a spirit in the Underworld. I was trapped there, in this tower with stone walls. But I could hear him speaking to me, and