first time in my life, I understood what it meant to live in the moment. And what a moment it was. I couldn’t have said when or why or how it happened if I’d been pressed to do so under oath, but I came hard. Fast. And with tears in my eyes.
Eventually, Zeke lifted his head to regard me with heat in his gaze. “I think you liked that.”
I grinned at him, trying to catch my breath. “Fuck.”
“Yes, you liked it.” He got up and kissed my cheeks, one at a time. “You’re so damned cute right now.”
I sucked in air. “Give me a minute, and I’ll return the favor.”
“No.” He sat down next to me, pulling me against him. “I’ll gladly take it later. But I actually do have to work now. Get ready for some things today. Somehow take my mind off how sweet your pussy is.”
Was he serious? He was willing to wait. Most men I’d been with would have been late to their mother’s funeral to get another blowjob. I sighed. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” He winked at me. “See you later, princess.”
I rolled my eyes. I was so not a princess. But it was somehow not so bad when he said it. An endearment that could be a sneer. Or maybe it had started as an insult, and now he was using it kindlier.
As per usual, I was way overanalyzing Zeke. Of course, I was still spread eagle on the bed with his saliva inside of me. It might be normal to be so out of sync. I jumped up and went back to the bathroom to clean up again. When I came out, it was time to face my phone.
I’d never hated it the way I did these days. I’d been constantly on it. But now it was like a leash. I wanted to talk to my sisters but tell the rest of the world—namely, Kit and Justin—to fuck off. Maybe I wasn’t being fair to Kit. I’d hurt him, and he was as much of an addict as my brother. I had to somehow remember that.
I lay down on my bed, itching to draw, but there were things to do first and that just sucked. Real life was constantly in the way of me pretending my problems didn’t exist. Too bad denial wasn’t just a river in Egypt. I was queen of the bad jokes. Great at them. Maybe I could make them for a living.
I scanned through my texts. Some of my so-called friends were starting to inch out of the woodwork. I must be getting great social media exposure with Zeke, or they wouldn’t bother. Besides, I had no idea when I was coming back to New York, so I couldn’t make plans anyway.
Finally, I saw Hope. She had a bunch of questions that were easier to do on the phone and it was too early to call. I texted both she and Bridget that I’d call later and looked to where Kit had sent me another nude photo giving me the finger.
I had to answer him and Justin. It was time to put on my big girl panties and face this.
Kit, I’m sorry I hurt you. I truly am. But you and I are not meant to be together in any world. I see you’re enjoying your freedom, and for the sake of my mental health, I’m going to block you on here and all social media. Good luck in the future.
I didn’t say the things I wanted to. That his parents were crooks, probably laundering money for some criminal organization, and he and I had been pawns in a big game that linked our families for reasons other than love. I said none of that. Kit wouldn’t care. He might even know. I completely understood he was sick, but I was tired of being his kicking post. I’d let him vent for days. Enough was enough.
Next up was my brother. That was more complicated. He was my brother. What was I supposed to do with him?
His texts were a diatribe of hate followed by his begging me for forgiveness. Worry pressed down on my shoulders. As cutthroat as it was, it wasn’t hard for me to make Kit someone else’s problem. He had a big, rich family that would rescue him. Justin had us. My father, who was a hands-off parent to say the least, and my sisters plus me. We were quite the dysfunctional group.
I scanned through the