“Gumtree five years ago. I’ve been saving it for a job like this.”
“Why? You told me to get the train. Besides, I haven’t driven in years. I don’t even know where my licence is. If I get pulled, they’ll clock me for sure.”
“Who said you were driving?”
Luis scowled. “No one. But as there’s no one else here and you’re too precious for the street, I made an assumption.”
“Well, you know what they say about assumption.”
“Actually, I don’t. Explain it to me.”
Dante drove out of the city and settled into the parade of trucks and lorries already on the road. “You said I didn’t have the balls to come with you.”
“So? That’s always been true. You don’t do jack to make your money ’cept play with people.”
“What’s wrong with that? The result is the same.”
“You’re a piece of shit, and you know it.”
“If you say so, brother.”
“Call me that again and I’ll throw you out of this damn fucking car.”
“Do it. You think I haven’t got peeps outside your boy’s house, waiting for my word if you fuck with me?”
Violent hate sluiced through Luis, malignant and sharp, eviscerating any emotion that had come before it. He eyed the oncoming traffic. It would be so easy to grab the wheel and steer the car into the path of the speeding HGVs. It would kill him too, but if it kept Paolo safe, who the fuck cared?
Luis’s hands twitched. Only the fear of hurting an innocent trucker kept him still. He had enough blood on his conscience.
The road to Coventry was clear. Two hours later, they crossed into the city. Luis kept track of landmarks, re-planning escape routes now their method of transport had changed, but as hard as he tried to keep his head in the game, his mind kept drifting to Paolo and the wrench of pain he still felt at leaving him behind.
Luis had slept with other men and spent the night in their beds, but he’d never been so consumed by someone, so fixated on every little thing about them. Paolo slept like a dead man, so he often didn’t notice Luis creeping on him at night, counting his breaths, and playing with his soft, dark curls. Luis had always loved that about him, but he resented it now, for robbing him of the chance to see Paolo smile one last time. Cos Lord knew, he was going to be fucking fuming when he woke up to find Luis had bailed on him for good.
You don’t deserve his anger. You don’t deserve anything from him.
But God, Luis loved him . . . loved him so much he’d almost blurted it out in the park, and again when Paolo had fucked him so sweetly Luis had been close to tears with the pleasure. Luis could still feel it now, the profound heat, the wonder, the love. And the grief at letting it go. He fought to regain the numbness that had carried him through recovering from a beatdown with a metal pipe and six long years of the same four walls. Dug deep for it, scraping the pit of his soul.
The very worst of himself wasn’t that hard to find, but the apathy was more elusive.
Dante said something.
Luis blinked at him. “What?”
“Nothing. Doesn’t matter.”
They drove on into the city. There was a big furniture store close to the motorway. Dante pulled into a space at the very back of the car park and shut the engine off. “We walk from here.”
“Walk where?”
“A mile that way, to the house by the train station.”
“Where’s the package?”
“Under your seat.”
Of course it was. Luis should’ve guessed that it would’ve been on him if they’d been stopped on route. That it was still on him, even now. “You haven’t even touched it, have you? There’s some kid’s prints all over it instead of yours.”
“Stop bitching and saddle up.”
Luis sensed the shift in Dante’s mood, and finally, the man who watched daytime TV in his underwear faded away, leaving behind the hard-faced bully who’d ruled Luis’s life for as long as Luis could remember. Manipulative and cold, Dante was everything Luis despised, and hate bubbled in his chest again.
He rummaged under the seat and fished out a tape wrapped package. It was bigger than he’d expected, enough to score him another six years in the box. He held it out to Dante.
Dante smirked. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re a pussyhole,” Luis growled. “If you want me to carry this shit, you gotta give me your