What was I? A prize? A trophy? A way to settle the bet more effectively?”
“It was none of those things, Ivy. What happened between us had nothing to do with him, or with the campaign, or with any other women.”
I wrap my arms around my chest. “Are you sure? Because if that was the truth, you would have told me about it.”
There are a lot of feelings in this world that are unpleasant, but I’m not sure there’s one worse than the feeling of foolishness. Of knowing you had suspicions and those suspicions were correct, that you let your heart do the thinking and not your mind. I turn away from his dark gaze, unable to hold it. The agency hadn’t believed in me. They hadn’t chosen me for my work.
I’d been chosen because I’d accidentally argued with a rich guest at a Hamptons party. I’m immune to beautiful women, he’d said then. Judging by the pictures on his computer, it seemed rather to be the opposite way around.
“Ivy, everything I’ve told you has been the truth. What happened between us, what I want in the future… I haven’t lied.”
I shake my head, unable to see through the sudden film of tears. “No. I can’t hear it.”
“The last person I wanted to hurt was you. The last person. Do you hear me?”
“Your actions say something completely different. God, I’m such an idiot. Just another beautiful woman for you, right? Another casual entanglement, something to amuse yourself with. And I never asked for more.” My chest feels like it’s breaking. “I can’t talk to you right now.”
“Ivy, please, let me—”
I retreat again. “Please, Rhys. Give me some space.”
He stops by the door to the cottage, looking like he has more to say and no idea how to say it. The weight of his gaze feels heavy, but I don’t look away, not even through my haze of tears. “I’ll be back in an hour,” he says quietly. “Please, Ivy. Let me try to explain then.”
I don’t nod. After another beat of silence, he disappears out the door, closing it behind him.
I let myself fall apart then, as I rush through the house, tears gathering in my eyes and rolling silently down my cheeks. There’s only one thought in my head, and that is escape. My hands don’t tremble as I pack the few things I’d removed from my two giant suitcases. The agency’s red silk dress looks ruined. I’ll have to take it to the dry cleaner’s in New York before I can return it.
It’s depressing that that’s the thought that breaks me, but it does, as I sink to the floor of the bedroom. I won’t be able to look at that dress without thinking about him and me on the beach.
And that’s not a thought I can afford to revisit right now.
It takes me a few minutes, but I manage to control myself, storing the hurt at his lies of omission somewhere deep inside. I’ve worked under stressful conditions; this shouldn’t be much different. I carry one of the suitcases to the curb, returning for the second. Does Paradise Shores have a taxi service? As long as I can get to a train station, I’ll be able to figure my way back to New York. I’ve never longed more for my tiny Manhattan apartment than I do right now, not even with the ocean a stone’s throw away and the bright summer sunshine.
“Ivy?”
My heart leaps out of my chest before I realize it’s not him. “Hi, Lily.”
She smiles at me from her lawn, holding the hands of a tiny toddler. He’s standing, albeit with a considerable dose of help from his mother.
“No sleeping in when you have a one-year-old,” she says, smiling down at Jamie’s thick brown hair, the same as his father. “Are you heading somewhere?”
Perhaps it’s in the silence of my response. Perhaps it’s the look on my face. But she scoops Jamie up onto her hip and steps out on the curb. “Ivy, is everything all right?”
“I need to get back to New York.”
“Okay,” she says. “Do you have a train ticket booked?”
“No, not yet.”
“Okay,” she echoes. “I’m sure Rhys can drive you to—”
I shake my head. “I need to leave now.”
“Right. Well,” she says, bouncing little Jamie on her hip, “how about I drive you to Bridgeport? We can grab a drive-through coffee on the way, and—no, no playing with Mommy’s hair—then you can board one of the Amtrak trains back to Grand Central.”
My throat