wasLeeds? A successful tax attorney, a Sewanee footballer, a rangy man who liked to laugh, a man who got up and fought with his throat cut.
Graham followed him through the house out of an odd sense of obligation. Learning about him first was a way of asking permission to look at his wife.
Graham felt that it was she who drew the monster, as surely as a singing cricket attracts death from the red-eyed fly.
Mrs. Leeds, then.
She had a small dressing room upstairs. Graham managed to reach it without looking around the bedroom. The room was yellow and appeared undisturbed except for the smashed mirror above the dressing table. A pair of L. L. Bean moccasins was on the floor in front of the closet, as though she had just stepped out of them. Her dressing gown appeared to have been flung on its peg, and the closet revealed the mild disorder of a woman who has many other closets to organize.
Mrs. Leeds's diary was in a plum velvet box on the dressing table. The key was taped to the lid along with a check tag from the police property room.
Graham sat on a spindly white chair and opened the diary at random:
December 23rd,Tuesday, Mama's house. The children are still asleep. When Mama glassed in the sun porch, I hated the way it changed the looks of the house, but it's very pleasant and I can sit here warm looking out at the snow. How many more Christmases can she manage a houseful of grandchildren? A lot, I hope.
A hard drive yesterday up fromAtlanta, snowing afterRaleigh. We had to creep. I was tired anyway from getting everyone ready. OutsideChapel Hill, Charlie stopped the car and got out. He snapped some icicles off a branch to make me a martini. He came back to the car, long legs lifting high in the snow, and there was snow in his hair and on his eyelashes and I remembered that I love him. It felt like something breaking with a little pain and spilling warm.
I hope the parka fits him. If he got me that tacky dinner ring, I'll die. I could kick Madelyn's big cellulite behind for showing hers and carrying on. Four ridiculously big diamonds the color of dirty ice. Icicle ice is so clear. The sun came through the car window and where the icicle was broken off it stuck up out of the glass and made a little prism. It made a spot of red and green on my hand holding the glass. I could feel the colors on my hand.
He asked me what I want for Christmas and I cupped my hands around his ear and whispered: Your big prick, silly, in as far as it will go.
The bald spot on the back of his head turned red. He's ahvays afraid the children will hear. Men have no confidence in whispers.
The page was flecked with detective's cigar ash.
Graham read on as the light faded, through the daughter's tonsillectomy, and a scare in June when Mrs. Leeds found a small lump in her breast. (Dear God, the children are so small.)
Three pages later the lump was a small benign cyst, easily removed.
Dr. Janovich turned me loose this afternoon. We left the hospital and drove to the pond. We hadn't been there in a long while. There never seems to be enough time. Charlie had two bottles of champagre on ice and we drank them and fed the ducks while the sun went down. He stood at edge of the water with his back to me for a while and I think he cried a little.
Susan said she was afraid we were coming home from the hospital with another brother for her. Home!
Graham heard the telephone ring in the bedroom. A click and the hum of an answering machine. "Hello, this is Valerie Leeds. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number after the tone, we'll get back to you. Thank you."
Graham half-expected to hear Crawford's voice after the beep, but there was only the dial tone. The caller had hung up.
He had heard her voice; now he wanted to see her. He went down to the den.
* * *
He had in his pocket a reel of Super Eight movie film belonging to Charles Leeds. Three weeks before his death,Leedshad left the film with a druggist who sent it away for processing. He never picked it up. Police found the receipt