last night, but there it was on the nightstand. Come to think of it, I couldn’t recall getting into these pyjamas either. Was drunk me better at finding things in my closet than sober me, or did I have help?
“Bradley?” I asked when he picked up.
“Oh, good, you got my message. Blue or green?”
“What message? Blue or green what?”
“The earrings, of course.”
Who knew? Who cared? “Why don’t you just get both?”
“Because you keep telling me not to do that. Are you feeling okay?”
“I might’ve had a tiny bit too much to drink last night.”
“In that case, you need to take one Siberian ginseng capsule, sixteen hundred micrograms of prickly pear cactus extract, a piece of ginger—fresh, not dried or pickled—two borage lozenges, the recommended dose of Tylenol, a cup of milk thistle tea… Are you writing all this down?”
“Right now, I wouldn’t even know which way up to hold the pen.”
“I’ll email you a list. And you need to have breakfast. Lightly burned toast, muesli, half a litre of orange juice, and plenty of water. Oh, and wear sunglasses.”
“My brain’s broken.”
“You’d better fix it because if you being worse for wear means I can shop more, I see a lot more drinking in your future.”
“Bad news. I’ve decided I’m going teetotal.”
Bradley’s squeak sounded like a mouse being run over by a bicycle. “Gotta go. I have jewellery to buy.”
Bollocks, what had I done?
I stumbled into the bathroom and leaned over the sink as a wave of nausea hit. Hungover me stared back from the mirror. I’d cried my mascara off before I went out yesterday, which meant those big black smudges under my eyes were all natural. And my mouth tasted like I’d been chewing cigarette butts. Had I been smoking last night? I wouldn’t have put it past myself.
Downstairs, I staggered into the kitchen. I’d been planning to make coffee and then go back to bed, but that plan flew out the window when I found Ana and Alaric waiting for me. Brilliant. I collapsed onto a stool at the breakfast bar instead.
“Uh, good morning?”
They glanced at each other.
“Is it?” Ana asked.
“I’ve had better.”
She pushed a glass of orange juice towards me. “Drink this.”
Had she been talking to Bradley?
“Sorry about last night,” I said. Ana had been there for me after the fight, and what had I done? Made her anxious. “I turned my phone off in case Black tried to call, but I should’ve texted you.”
“Forget it. I knew you could look after yourself; I just didn’t want you to be alone.”
“I had to get away from Riverley.”
“I understand that.” Ana checked her watch. “Do you need me this morning? I’m meant to go to the school.”
“Is Tabby okay?”
“She’s fine. The PTA asked me to help decorate the hall for the summer fair. Those people are more persuasive than hostage negotiators.”
As the saying went, laughter was the best medicine. Thanks, Ana.
“You’re going to Tabby’s school to make garlands and stick crêpe paper flowers to the walls?”
“It’s not fucking funny.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Why don’t you join me, Auntie? I’ll even let you use the glue gun.”
“Sorry, I’m too busy dying of alcohol poisoning. Has anyone got Tylenol?”
Alaric passed me a fresh packet, then took a seat opposite. “I was going to make you a Bloody Mary, but your sister wouldn’t let me.”
“You’ve done quite enough damage already,” Ana scolded, but she didn’t sound as annoyed as she had last night. It was more of a warning not to let me get into that state again. “I’ll come over after school unless I get arrested for murder.”
“Is it possible to kill someone with a staple gun?”
“I’m not sure the carotid is close enough to the skin to bleed out from the staples themselves, but there’s always bludgeoning.”
“Or you could just staple their lips together so they can’t eat?”
“Or talk. That would actually solve my problem.”
Alaric got up and herded Ana towards the door. “No killing, no maiming. Why don’t you offer to paint instead?”
“It’s definitely possible to kill someone with a paintbrush.”
“I don’t want to know. Off you go, have fun. I’ll take care of Emmy.”
Ana glared at him as she left, but at least no knives were thrown. I had to look for the positives in life, didn’t I?
“So…” I started.
“Ana’s right. I should have stopped you drinking sooner. One minute you were dancing, and the next, you were trying to lick the bartender’s face.”
“Ah, shit.”
“He took it in good humour.”
“Where’s Sky? Does she know what a bad role model