could do and learn as an immortal. I could be with Amon forever. It was an intoxicating notion. But if I could only see him for two weeks every one thousand years, that would be extremely lonely. Could a relationship like that work? Maybe I could stay with him in dreams.
The truth was, the sphinx I’d become frightened me. I didn’t know how to wrap my mind around it. Maybe Dr. Hassan could figure something out. Of course, seeking a way to recover my mortality might mean something unpleasant for Tia. She meant more to me every day we were together. The lioness was like a sister to me. I’d always longed for one.
But then, could I even go back to a normal life? Attend college? Or schmooze at my parents’ various functions when I had a lioness for a mental roommate? Even worse, how could I change my state knowing it might kill her or that she’d disappear forever?
The rocking of the ship was soothing, and I laid my head back against the rail, letting it lull me to sleep. The tinkling sound of the stars faded and was replaced with the crackle of a popping fire.
“Lily?” I heard the soft exclamation.
“Amon?”
I groped in the darkness, unable to make out his shape. Finally, my hand brushed against his arm.
The sound of soft weeping filled my mind. “Oh, Lily. Why have you come?”
“Amon? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Immediately, I knelt down next to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He clutched me close but I pulled away, keeping a hand on his shoulder as I attempted to use my sphinx vision to find his true form. “Tell me,” I demanded, unable to see anything. “Is your body injured?”
“I am beyond pain. I am a man tormented. Especially knowing how close you are. You must turn back. Ask—no, plead with Cherty to take you back to Heliopolis.”
“I can’t. You know that. Besides, I’m too close.”
“There’s still time. Go back. Forget me. I beg of you.”
His quiet sobbing made my heart quiver, and tears sprang to my own eyes. “I have to find you. I won’t give up. Don’t ask me to.” Amon didn’t answer. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”
“Everything,” he murmured. “Nothing. I am in the Field of Fears. Here I am safe from everything and everyone but myself.”
“Oh, Amon, I’m so sorry. Just wait for me. I’ll find you. I promise.”
It was as if he didn’t hear me. “It’s almost easier facing a monster,” he said. “There’s nothing for me to fight here. My darkest despairs have surfaced to torture me. And you are at the heart of it. In offering you my heart, I have destroyed the one thing in the universe I wanted to protect. I am the one who’s sorry, Young Lily.”
I took a deep breath and tried to speak calmly, rationally. “Your heart is all I ever wanted. It’s the one thing that keeps me going forward. Try to remember that and know how much I want to be with you.”
“You should have taken Horus up on his offer,” he said morosely. “He would have been a much better choice.”
“I don’t want Horus.”
“A part of you did. I…I heard him say it.”
I bit my lip. “I apologize if seeing that added to your pain. But I don’t love Horus. I love you. Besides, I don’t believe everything Horus says, and you shouldn’t either.”
He ignored my sad attempt to explain. “You need someone strong like Horus. I don’t blame you for choosing him.”
“I didn’t choose him. In fact—”
“Just turn around, Lily,” he interrupted. “Go home. Live as normal a life as you can. There’s nothing here for you anymore.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“It doesn’t matter. Even if you’re stubborn enough to try to find me, I won’t be here. You’ll never find me.”
“You’ll be there, Amon! If you do something stupid, I’ll…”
Tell him you’ll sink your claws into his back.
“Yes, I’ll sink my…Tia!”
It is becoming difficult to remain patient with this human sentiment. Step aside, Lily.
Tia! I suddenly found myself locked behind a mental door where I could hear but not speak.
“Young man, you will cease lamenting immediately,” Tia said. “Lily is in love with you. She has selected you as her intended mate. So far I have not protested this decision, but if you continue to bemoan your fate in this manner, I will encourage her to find someone more worthy. I advise you to muster the same courage she has shown.