knew I had her wearing them, but I couldn’t resist last night.
I wanted her in my clothes to make it feel more real. And it worked. Looking at her now, it almost feels as if she’s really mine. Talk about fucked up.
Cussing under my breath, I slide out of bed and slip into a pair of jeans and a hoodie. My thoughts are scrambled. I need a cigarette to get my head on straight.
I open the door to step out of the room and freeze when I spot Alana sitting in the hallway between the two bedroom doors. “Shit, Alana. What are you doing out here?”
She looks up from her spot on the floor, her eyes red from lack of sleep. “Couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was you and how it should be us in that bedroom right now. Not you and her. It should’ve been me you were holding all night.”
“What’s done is done, Alana. You did this, not me. All we can do now is move on. Both of us.”
“I don’t want to, Madden. I don’t want to fucking move on. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see how much I hate myself for hurting you? I’ve been a bitch this entire trip because of it. You know that’s not who I am. You pushed me to be bitter and question everything I thought I knew.”
“I didn’t push you to do anything. Don’t even fucking go there. I’m not going to pity you. Maybe you should have thought about all this when you did what you did. And stop questioning shit. Clearly, you poked your head inside to spy on us and got your answer. I’ve moved on, Alana. You need to do the same.” I flex my jaw, unable to deal with these emotions right now. I really need that cigarette. “I’m going outside to smoke. I suggest you go to bed and get some sleep.”
“Madden, wait…”
Ignoring Alana’s plea, I hurry out back and light up a smoke, my nerves causing my hands to shake. As much as she deserves it, I don’t feel good hurting her. She was an important part of my life for a long time. She fucking killed me, and yet I feel bad. Isn’t that fucking great.
“Madden, please.”
“Dammit, Alana.” I walk around the side of the cabin in hopes of getting away from her, but I hear her footsteps behind me, not willing to give up. I stop walking and turn around to face her. “Go back—”
My words are cut off by her mouth slamming hard against mine. Her kiss is needy and desperate, her hands tangled in my hair, pulling me into her.
It takes a good few seconds for me to come to my senses and push her away. When I do, my eyes land on Natalie, who just came around the corner.
“Nat—”
“I don’t want to fucking hear it, Madden.” Her angry eyes land on Alana, and I can’t help but notice just how good she’s playing her part as the jealous girlfriend. It’s almost believable. “Hope you enjoyed that, because it’ll be the last time your lips touch his again. That’s a fucking promise.” With that, she walks away.
My heart races as I watch her disappear into the woods, because her performance was so good I wonder if maybe she’s really pissed at me for kissing my ex.
“Let her go, Madden.”
I toss my cigarette, eyes still focused on where Natalie disappeared just seconds ago. “We’re through, Alana. Take a hint and get over it. Oh, and stay the fuck away from us for the rest of the trip.”
“You’re not in love with her!” she yells at my back as I walk away to go after Natalie. “If you were, you wouldn’t have kissed me back for even a second. Stop fooling yourself, Madden.”
I don’t even allow myself to question what Alana is saying, because truthfully, I’m worried about Natalie right now. I’m not even sure why. Surely, she can’t really be pissed. It’s not like she has feelings for me. Her reaction had to be for show.
It takes me a few minutes, but I finally catch up with Natalie, grabbing her arm to stop her from walking. “Hey, wait up. Are you okay?”
She stops and exhales but doesn’t turn to face me. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” She starts walking again and I do too, letting her lead the way. “Gotta play my part, right?”
“Right,” I say, but mostly to myself. “Well, you played it really fucking well