come off my number. “You’re right, he hasn’t. I don’t think he even tries because he’s always too preoccupied with his phone or lost in his head. That’s why I come here alone sometimes and play with Carla when she’s not busy.”
“Must suck.”
“What?” she questions, stepping up to the line.
“Dating someone who doesn’t ever play with you. Having fun is an important key in relationships. Love is the most important aspect of course, but if you can’t have fun and laugh and play together one of you is bound to get bored and move on. That’s why I like to have fun too. I want my girl to be satisfied in every possible way.”
She swallows, her eyes lingering on me for a few moments before she clears her throat and throws her darts at the board. “Game over.”
Yeah, apparently that might be the case for me. I gave her something to think about and now it’s up to her.
“I can’t do that, Jason. I’m already on the road,” I lie through my teeth, not giving him any reason to believe he has even the slightest chance of me canceling my trip. “I’m thirty minutes out and about to lose reception. Cancel the appointments. I won’t tell you again.”
“Come the fuck on, Madden.” His angry growl comes through the phone, but I’m so used to it now that it doesn’t even faze me. “We both know this trip of yours is no good for you or the band. You come back liquored up with your head so royally fucked that you can barely function for weeks. Just turn your truck around and drive your ass back to LA.”
“Not happening.”
“Stop fucking with me. I’ve already made commitments for the band and we need you here. You can go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere next year. I’m sure your friends will understand.”
He’s already been in my ear for the last twenty minutes and just the sound of his voice is starting to piss me off now.
“Fuck off, Jason. I’ve been going on this trip every year for the past eight years and a pissed off manager isn’t going to stop me. I’m not in violation of any contracts. Cancel the shit and I’ll see you in a week.”
“Madden…”
Before the asshole can piss me off any more, I toss my phone against the wall and make my way into the bathroom.
His argument about my head being royally fucked has me thinking about last night again.
I’m not gonna lie; it was rough as hell after I received that text from Alana. Four simple words had the power to unravel me on the spot, and the last thing I wanted was for Natalie to witness the unraveling and then to find me half-drunk at the bar afterward.
Alana: I still love you…
Doesn’t she understand just how much she’s fucked with my head since she walked away?
Doesn’t she understand that I’ll never trust her again?
I figured my silence would be enough to make her see that, but clearly, I was wrong.
It’s only made her try harder, her desperation clear and escalating with each text.
She believes her words will be enough to change my mind about us or she’d have given up already, but they’ll never be enough to suffer through the pain she inflicted again. People rarely change.
That kind of hurt led me down a dark road that came close to taking my life on more than one occasion.
“Shit, I look like hell.” I stare at my reflection in the mirror, my grip on the sink becoming tighter as I examine the dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep.
Not even a half bottle of whiskey after we got back from the bar last night had the strength to numb my thoughts enough to get some rest last night.
All I kept thinking about was how I’d see Alana soon. That thought kept me tense and on edge with what might happen over the next six days.
She’s good at getting what she wants, and she almost had me last year when I gave in to her and allowed her to kiss me. One kiss led to her sleeping in my bed. The memories that brought on led to me making love to her and almost forgetting about the hell she put me through.
Luckily, Jake talked some damn sense into me before I had the opportunity of asking her to come on the road with me.
Finally over feeling sorry for myself, I push away from