I can see why you’re here. My brother drives me crazy too.”
“He doesn’t drive me crazy. That’s not what I… that’s not why I’m here, okay. I just wanted to make sure—”
“I’m not passed out drunk somewhere choking on my own vomit?” I know my brother told her about those days. I also know she probably judges me because of them. Everyone does. “Because I’m not. You don’t have to worry. I don’t need a babysitter. You can go back to my brother with a clean conscience.”
“Didn’t say you did.” She stands up and turns around to look behind her. “I was hoping to release some energy to help me sleep. How about we play a game of darts and then head out together?”
I can’t tell if she really wants to play darts with me or if she’s testing me to see how drunk I am before letting me drive home, but I stand up anyway and follow her to the back of the room. Anything to get my mind off Alana is a good thing right now. If I’m being honest with myself, liquor barely does the trick unless I’m passed out.
“We’ll play a quick game of 301.”
“501.” I hand her a set of darts. “501 and I’m in.”
“Fine. 501 it is.” She grabs the set of darts and walks over to setup the game. “Either way it’ll be quick.”
“Why is that?”
She smiles as she gets into position. “I have pretty good aim. Just ask Carla.”
“She does!” Carla hollers as if she’s been listening to our entire conversation. “You don’t have a chance at winning, Madden.”
“Okay, show me.” I motion for her to take her turn. I’m surprised when she hits a double bullseye, followed by an outer bullseye and then a double twenty. “Impressive. I’m guessing you beat my brother’s ass in darts a lot. He sucks at most activities. Always has,” I say, amused.
She doesn’t say anything to that, and instead just yanks her darts out and gets out of the way for me to take my turn. My scores are far less impressive with a single twenty, a nine and an eighteen.
“Not too bad for someone on the road a lot. I’m guessing you don’t get to play darts much.”
“I don’t,” I admit. “I barely have time to breathe when I’m on the road. Every day feels like I’m suffocating with no escape. This trip… with my friends… is my only escape, and even that isn’t an escape anymore thanks to my ex.”
Her face falls and I can tell she feels sorry for me. “You can’t just avoid her? Maybe pretend she’s not there and just talk to your other friends? She’d have no choice but to take the hint.”
“She won’t. The moment I get there she’ll be all over me as if we never broke up in the first place. She’ll beg me to take her back because she knows I’m dead inside without her. Alana knows me better than anyone. She always has.”
She swallows, before turning away and hitting another double bullseye, followed by two double twenties.
Good thing I’m not trashed, because Natalie was right, this game won’t last long. I need to take Carla’s advice and not let Natalie say no before my chance is up. I need to give her something to think about before this night is over.
Feeling the pressure consume me, I toss my darts at the board, not giving a shit what I hit and then turn to face Natalie. “And like an idiot, I’ll let her in and leave feeling emptier than when I arrived. That is why I need you, Nat. So that I’ll stay away from her this time. So I won’t let her fuck with my mind like every other trip.”
She’s quiet and I can tell I have her thinking about it. I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to change her mind, but I hope it is.
“You’re right,” she says moments later, her forced smile making it clear she’s trying to lighten the mood now that it’s so fucking dark. “Logan sucks at darts. We’ve only played a few games but if I’m being honest, he can barely hit the board.”
“Still?” I laugh and concentrate a little too hard on my next throw, wanting to prove to Natalie I’m better than my brother. “Bet he’s never hit a double bullseye. Or a single for that matter.”
She watches as I pull the darts from the board, her expression slightly impressed with the ninety points that