hadn’t been brunette since we were kids.
“So is this an ambush?” she said, once we were in the room together, like I’d tricked her into meeting with me.
“I thought you wanted me to come, but I can go,” I said.
“Don’t be silly. I’m glad to see you.” She held her arms out for me to hug her. I didn’t want to, but I put my arms around her. It was like hugging someone I barely knew. She felt smaller and softer, and she smelled different. Not like when we were kids, when we’d both smelled like Mom’s house—musty and smoky—but not like the grown-up LaReigne, who’d smelled like perfume and makeup. Now, she smelled like prison. Unless Ben pulled off a miracle, maybe she always would.
I let go of her and pulled out one of the chairs at the table to sit down. Ben stood behind me, waiting for LaReigne to pay attention to him, but she didn’t.
“What’s the special occasion you’re dressed up for?” she said after she sat down across from me.
“Mom didn’t tell you? I had family court this morning.”
“Well, you look really nice,” she said in this fake-ass voice. “How did it go?”
“Loudon got arrested in Oklahoma on another DUI and driving on a suspended license. So the Gills will keep custody of Marcus. My lawyer says he’s pretty sure the court will grant me some kind of visitation. But you’re probably not interested in all the details.”
“Of course I’m interested! How can you even say that? Ben is working on me being able to call Marcus for his birthday.”
“The Gills’ lawyer has made it clear we’ll need a court order,” Ben said. “That’s our next step, unless your sister gets visitation, and then—”
“She’d have to get a landline first,” LaReigne snapped.
“I want to talk to you alone,” I said to her.
“I can’t do that,” said Ben, sitting down in the chair next to mine, across from LaReigne. “This is as private as it gets, because this is a confidential meeting between client and attorney. Regular visitation is monitored.”
“You can say whatever you want in front of Ben. It’s okay,” LaReigne said.
“No, it’s not. He’s your lawyer. Not mine. Maybe anything I say he’ll use to try to help you.”
“I assumed you wanted to help her,” Ben said.
“Not if it’s going to get me in trouble.” I’d sat down at the wrong angle, and I couldn’t get comfortable. When I stood up, LaReigne’s eyes got wide.
“Please, don’t go,” she said.
“I’m not going. My hip’s just bothering me.” Once I was on my feet, though, I wanted to leave.
“I was hoping we could discuss the trial,” Ben said.
“Don’t. I’m not testifying. You could subpoena me, but you’d be sorry if you did.” I hadn’t come there to talk to him, so I said to LaReigne, “I’m doing what I can. I’m taking care of Mom. I’m trying to make sure Marcus will be able to see you. And I put more money in your commissary account.”
“I don’t want your money,” LaReigne said in a tiny hurt voice.
“I don’t know where you think the money comes from, but Mom doesn’t have any. I’m the one who pays her phone bill, and I’m the one who puts money in your account.”
“Zee, please, don’t be mad.”
I started to say, I’m not mad, because it was so much more than that. I felt like a firestarter, like I could burn everything down just by thinking about it. Hothead, that was what Mom always called me.
“Did you even Google it?” I said.
“Google what?” She gave me a confused look like she couldn’t understand why I was angry. Like my anger was random.
“What Tague Barnwell did. Did you even Google it before you decided to fall in love with him?”
“That’s not how love works!” she said. “I know you don’t understand anything about it, but normal people don’t decide to fall in love. That’s why it’s called—”
“Okay, fine, I don’t know how it works. So you accidentally fell in love with him. Not your fault. But did you know what he’d done when you decided to run away with him? Because it took me like sixty seconds on the Internet to find out that he murdered five people. He would have murdered more if he was better at building bombs. One of the people he killed was a little boy. His mother was trying to protect him, and a bullet went through her shoulder and into his head. He was only four.”
There was