feeling her body stiffen. He was pulling away then, and she wished she could pull him back, wished she could tell him to continue kissing her. But the truth was she should have been the one to pull back, to put a stop to the madness.
“Was that your first kiss?” he murmured.
She blinked her eyes open, staring into the blue depths of his soulful eyes. Suddenly self-conscious, Jenny asked, “Was I terrible?”
In the hazy light, she could see him grin. “Nay, ye’re a fast learner. A guess, really.”
She didn’t believe him. “I’ve had plenty of opportunities to kiss, I’ll have ye know.”
“I dinna doubt it.” One eyelid slowly drifted closed in a lazy wink. “Ye’re a discerning woman, and I am honored to have been chosen as your first.”
Jenny frowned, wishing she hadn’t run away every time Hamish’s best mate had attempted to kiss her in their youth. Or Annie’s brother, for that matter. With practice she could have knocked Toran clear out of his boots.
“Dinna flatter yourself, soldier. I merely decided it was time to put the task of kissing behind me.”
“Ah, I see. And as your loyal vassal, I aim to serve and please ye, Mistress J. By any means necessary.”
He stroked over her collarbone again, and she resisted the urge to shiver, having forgotten that his hand was still pressed so close to her breasts. She swatted him away with a huff, turning to face away from him.
Despite her attempts at irritation, her blood still sang with pleasure, and Toran chuckled.
“So much bluster.” His whisper fanned over her ear, and he gently bit the shell of it, sending another volley of pleasure racing through her body. “One day, Jenny, when the world is no’ tearing itself apart, I hope you can revel in the pleasure of kissing.”
She turned sharply to face him then. “What makes ye think I wasna reveling?”
“Ye’re upset about it.”
“I am no’.” And it galled her that the man could read her so easily.
“Nay?”
“Nay, no’ at all,” she insisted. Lied.
“All right. Ye know your own thoughts much better than I would.”
“That is a fact, sir.” She’d not been particularly subtle, huffing and turning, but it was more frustration than anything else.
“I wish ye a good night, Mistress J.”
“Ye need no’ call me that when we are alone.”
“Do ye foresee us being alone more often?”
She rolled her eyes, but it was with a smile. He was lightening the mood, making her feel less unnerved. The man had a knack for it, she’d hand it to him. She’d nearly forgotten where they were and why.
“I’ll take the first watch,” he said. “Ye sleep.”
She wanted to argue, but there was no denying her exhaustion. “Good night, Toran.”
“Sweet dreams, Jenny.”
She curled up on her side, away from him, afraid that if she were to face him she’d watch him all night. And she’d thought he might move away from her, but he didn’t. And as it turned out, facing away from him was a worse kind of torture than if she’d actually been facing him, for she couldn’t see when she wanted to, and her mind continued to conjure up all sorts of thoughts. How did he look when he was concentrating on the wind? Would his eyes get droopy?
Was he…watching her?
Thirteen
They arrived back to Cnàmhan Broch in the dead of night, a full twenty-four hours after they’d left. The castle was in an uproar over Jenny’s disappearance. First and foremost among the frantic was Lady Mackintosh.
She came running out to the courtyard from within the castle, wrapping Jenny up in her arms, Dom loping slowly behind her. Camdyn and Isla too were tossing themselves into their brother’s arms, and Toran’s low voice rumbled soothing words that Jenny couldn’t make out.
Her mother pressed her hands to Jenny’s face and searched her all over as if checking for injuries.
“I’m fine, Mama.”
“Where have ye been?” Her eyes were filled with worry, and as her gaze traveled the length of Jenny’s clothes, taking in her appearance, she grew paler. “I had wondered,” she started but stopped. “Come inside.”
Had wondered what? Jenny hadn’t made much of a secret about changing her clothes and training with the men, which was something she’d done even as a child, but she had tried not to do it so much in front of her mother. Had her mother figured out Jenny’s role in the rebellion? Jenny looked back at the men who’d come home with her, giving them a solid nod. They knew what to do