that’s a soulmate mark. Soulmates aren’t necessarily sexual partners.”
“But they can be.”
“Or I could just be horny after the massive adrenaline-fueled fight and all the revelations.”
“Who’s horny?” Cora sat up and stretched.
She looked better. Less drained, more … her.
“Did you have a nice nap?”
She looked down at the pillow she’d just been lying on. “I slept.” She smiled at me. “I think I even dreamed.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sleep.”
“I don’t. I mean …” She blinked slowly. “I go away sometimes …”
“Huh?”
“Sometimes, I’m not here. I’m somewhere else. A garden. It’s beautiful, and I feel safe there, but I don’t want to stay, and then I’m back here with you.” She frowned. “I thought it was a ghost thing. I don’t know … Like, I thought it was the Beyond calling me, but it’s not, because I’m not a ghost. There is no beyond for me. There’s only you.” Her shoulders tensed. “I don’t know if I want that. I don’t know if I like not having a choice any longer.”
My heart ached for her predicament. Maybe I could simplify it a little. “Do you love me?”
She waved a dismissive hand my way. “Pfft, course I do, you dick.”
“Are you happy, I mean, before you found out about the tulpa bollocks?”
She shook her head slightly. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’ve made friends in Senki, and I like hanging at the tavern. Bartok, the owner, even offered me a job the other day. I was actually thinking of taking him up on it and giving up Soul Savers, but I was worried I’d be forced back into the system and have to move on, and …” Her eyes widened in revelation. “And now I don’t. I’m not a ghost.”
I smiled at her. “You’re not dead, Cora. You’re alive. You’re a tulpa. You’re fucking alive, and there is no shame in being different.”
She took a moment to process that. “Fuck it. You’re right. I slept, and I dreamed. I’m alive.”
And she also looked more solid than she had when she’d lain down.
I nodded firmly. “And tomorrow night, we’re going out.”
“We are?” She looked surprised and then instantly suspicious. “You hate going out.”
“Not anymore. Not if we go out in the Underealm. You and me, down to Senki. We’re gonna hit the tavern and have a great time. Cyril, too.”
“You promised ratsss,” Cyril said, eyes glinting in anticipation.
“And rats you shall have.”
A full moon ran its silvery fingers over my skin as I lay in bed. It was late, and Cora and Cyril had retired to their room hours ago. Just as well I hadn’t pressed her to stay with me.
It was hot, too hot, and the fact that Azazel kept entering my thoughts didn’t help my discomfort. His rumbly voice, his warm breath on my cheek, his scent, and the way he’d branded me with a look.
I kicked off the sheets and pressed my thighs together to quell the ache that begged me to touch myself. I was swollen with need, and the only way I was going to get any sleep was to release the sweet tension that was gathering at my core.
I slipped a hand into my panties and dipped my fingers into my wetness. Oh, fuck that felt … Mmm. I circled my clit and then rubbed downward, hissing at the pleasurable sensations. My hips began to move into my hand. I rolled onto my back and opened my legs wider, pushing my hips up as I slid two fingers deep inside me. I should get up and grab Errol, but this felt too good to stop.
Just give in, just let it take you. Azazel’s breath on my mouth, his milky gaze on my throat, his tongue in my mouth, his lips sliding over mine, and his hands kneading my breasts. He’d suck on my nipples and then slide down my body to plant himself between my thighs and run his tongue up my slit and—I cried out as my body spasmed and rippled with a violent orgasm that had me rocking desperately into my hand as I rode the wave and crested again and again.
Fuck. I lay back, chest heaving, and then shame stung my cheeks. What the fuck was I doing? Shit. Had anyone heard? How loud was I?
I rolled onto my side and pulled the covers up over me. I’d just wanked off to Azazel, and honestly, I wasn’t even embarrassed.
I’d told Cora I was okay being single, and at the time, that