about what had happened, but there was a part of me that wished we had never gone to the Dreki realm. A part of me wanted to throw her over my shoulder and jump back into a portal, ensuring they couldn’t keep her here.
What if she wants to stay?
I knew we would stay if she wanted to… if she wanted us, that is. Panic gripped my throat as I felt tension rolling through me. I inhaled sharply, wondering how I would ever fully deal with everything Maya had been through. I knew they were her demons to handle, that they shouldn’t have plagued me, but it was impossible for me to not feel the raw pain associated with everything she’d been through.
I loved Maya. I loved Maya, and the people that you loved were the ones that often caused you the most pain. Even if it was just through experiencing the pain they themselves were going through. It was impossible to not be affected by it. Not that it would ever scare me away or dissuade me from being around Maya, rather the opposite. In some ways, the pain I felt for her situation reassured me that this was real. That my emotions for her were rooted in something outside of just a mating bond. Not that I discounted that element, but I knew it was more than that. I was just praying to the Maker that Maya would continue to want me around so I could experience everything that was her. If she told me to go, that she didn’t want me, I would… well, I wouldn’t. But I would act as if I was leaving her alone.
I don’t think I had it in me to ever fully give Maya up.
I didn’t think she wanted me to either, which was why my doubt in all of this was so frustrating. Maya had never played games. She had never appeared to question us being mates, and her words of constant reassurance that she was staying around should have made me feel moderately better. But insecurity from my past rode me hard, one that told me that now that she had found something better, a family that had been looking for her, she would leave us. It sounded absurd… but at the same time, I had been so easily forgotten time and time again by my own family, so wasn’t it possible that she could forget about us so easily? About me?
We could offer Maya the world, but there were things that we couldn’t offer. One of them was this lost relationship that she had now found.
Letting out a tired groan, I shook my head and then looked up, examining the sunset landscape of the realm through the massive window. The Fire Lands were calm tonight, and despite the voices outside, the castle itself was in almost a lull, as if everything had come to a stop. Which I suppose it had. I didn’t expect that to last, of course… no, I had a feeling that the queen and her mates would be trying to find every way to convince Maya to stay by showing her everything the Dreki realm had to offer.
I couldn’t blame them, either. Wasn’t that exactly what I wanted? For her to stay around forever? The woman was a balm to my temperament, and despite still getting angry, I found myself always considering how it would affect her before reacting.
The part of me that wasn’t tempered? The fact that I wanted to tie Maya to myself to make sure that she never left. It was absurd, and she would probably be scared by that notion, but I very much had considered finding a way to tie us together so that she couldn’t leave. Hell. The thought of handcuffs had even crossed my mind.
Atlas would probably punch me for even thinking that.
“Sai?” Maya’s voice was a whisper, and I immediately snapped my gaze from the window to the beautiful woman looking up at me. A rumble escaped my throat as I stared at her, afraid to talk because I was worried about what would come out. That I would admit to loving her. Obsessing over her. Beg her to never leave me.
My gaze moved down her body as I briefly realized that she had been changed from the dress into a soft oversized shirt, her breasts pressed against the material, one side falling off her shoulder and tempting me to bite it. To leave my mark. I swallowed