The Reality of Everything - Rebecca Yarros Page 0,104

I screamed the words I’d held back for far too long. “I did!” I turned back to Paisley, who now had Jagger’s arm around her waist. Even now, she was supported. “I loved him most. Not you. Not Peyton. She never chose him. She broke him. Then you had him and still chose Jagger, remember? I’m the one who always chose Will when I wasn’t prioritizing your happiness. I. Chose. Will. You didn’t. The fact that he didn’t bother to choose me back until he was on his way to become a martyr doesn’t change the fact that I loved him most!”

My gaze dropped to Paisley’s wings, the necklace she’d been given the night of the flight school ball.

“He might have died with Peyton’s name on his lips, but it was my necklace he had around his neck. The necklace that Grayson brought back with Will’s body. The one he and Sam helped me put into the casket with him the night before we buried him, because if I had his wings, then he should have mine. And now it’s two years later and you’re all just over it! Over him! You’re healed, and happy, and married, and parents, and pregnant, and even though I love you all, I hate you for it! He was supposed to come home to me, not get buried next to her!” A sob tore from my throat, and I crumpled.

Strong arms wrapped around me, and I was enveloped by the scent of the ocean and Jackson as he held me against his chest.

“It’s okay,” he murmured against my hairline as I sobbed into his shirt, grabbing fistfuls of the material to assure myself that he was real. He was here.

I needed to not be here.

“Morgan,” Paisley pled, but Sam stepped between us. “Sam, please. I just need to talk to her. Let me make this better. I. Need. To. Talk. To. Her!”

“Paisley, you know I love you, but this is not about you or what you need right now,” Sam replied in a tone that was kind but firm.

“Since when am I the third wheel around here? You might be the one she chose to come live with her, but that’s my best friend, Samantha! Move!”

“I know you are not yelling at me for your own fuck-up, Paisley Bateman. None of what’s going down right now is my fault. And I get that your emotions are high, and rightfully so, but you’re just going to have to let those suckers take a backseat to Morgan’s for once.”

I couldn’t see either of their faces, but Paisley’s indrawn breath said it all.

“And if you can’t do that,” Sam’s voice softened, “if you honestly can’t listen to the pain she’s in without trying to fix it, then you might need to pack up that beautiful baby and your handsome husband and take them home until you can. You can’t fix this, and she’s not asking you to. She’s just being honest for the first time in years and letting you know where she’s at. And I know you want to help her. I know you love her, and you’ve never intentionally hurt her. We both know that this is one giant mess made by some pretty all-around shitty circumstances, but that doesn’t change the fact that Morgan got lost and left behind.”

My breathing regulated with Jackson’s steady heartbeat as Sam gave me the time I needed to calm down. His arms felt so good around me. Safe. Secure. He held me like I was something he cherished, because he did. God, I didn’t deserve this man who held me carefully as I cried out my grief for another.

“I never wanted this to happen,” Paisley said softly.

My heart ached at the misery in her voice. I never wanted this, either. Never wanted my feelings to harm her. Never wanted to lose Will. Never wanted to tangle my heart up in another flyboy I’d have to bury.

“None of us did.” Sam answered. “But you can’t help her right now, as good as your intentions are. And as much as I value our friendship and the bond we all have, I can’t stand here and let you slap a let me make this better Band-Aid over a festering, infected wound just because it’ll help you sleep tonight.”

My eye caught on the invitation to Will’s ceremony as it dangled from Jackson’s fingers, and I felt that same rage bubble to the surface. Maybe letting the fire out of my soul hadn’t