I knew that it was possible to free myself, if only I knew the right moves.
Embedding them in my muscle memory was definitely going to take some practice, though.
“Great job, everyone.” Luis pulled Craig forward to demonstrate again. “Before we go, we’re going to work on a neck hold. This is a rear choke.” He wrapped one arm around Craig’s neck, his other hand pushing Craig’s head into the crook of his elbow. “If someone grabs you like this, they’re going to try and drag you off your feet and pull you, right? Keep you off balance. So what you’re going to want to do is step forward with the foot that’s not on the opposite side from the arm that’s grabbing you. That gives you space to slip your other foot between you and your attacker, twisting your body toward the open space between their hand and body. We’re trying to unravel the choke. Once your head is out, you push them and run. Let’s do it again, slow motion.”
Luis and Craig demonstrated several times before instructing us to give it a try.
“It’ll make more sense once you actually do it,” River said. “Normally, you’re going to be attacked by someone bigger than you, so we might get Luis over here for you to practice on a couple times. But the movements are going to be the same, regardless. Okay, turn around.”
Step forward, twist, push, run. As I waited for River to grab me, I repeated the instructions to myself several times.
I was fine, absolutely fine, until his arm wrapped around my neck. I froze. I stopped breathing.
“Grab my arm if you need to.”
River’s words were muffled and cottony. My vision blurred, the room around me a beige blob of nowhere and nothing.
And then I was on my back, staring up into Luis’s and River’s faces. “Wyatt, can you hear us? Are you okay?”
“Why am I on the floor?” Was it just me, or did my voice sound wibbly-wobbly?
Luis shielded my eyes with his hand, blocking out the bright fluorescent light above. “You had a panic attack. But you’re okay. We’re going to sit here until you feel like you can sit up on your own, okay?”
I couldn’t turn my head, but somewhere to my left, Craig was saying, “Let’s give him some space. It’s just a panic attack. He’ll be fine.”
Dammit.
Tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes.
I had been doing so damn good that morning. My optimistic thoughts of not needing therapy? Completely burned down. I was broken. And I’d probably be broken forever, no matter how much therapy I had, no matter how long I lived at The Haven Center.
What was Jordan going to think?
I wished he was here. I wanted his strong arms around me, telling me everything would be okay. But I didn’t want him to know how weak I was. How everything terrified me.
River grabbed my hand. “Do you think you can sit up now, Wyatt?”
I nodded. He and Luis pulled me to a sitting position, and I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face in the pocket between them.
Luis patted my back gently. “Come on, kid. Let’s get you up and home. Unless you want to see a counselor first?”
I shook my head.
“We’ll grab the golf cart and get you back to your house. Someone will grab a lunch bag from the cafeteria—”
“Oh, no! I have to meet Jordan for lunch!”
“Are you sure you’re up for meeting anyone, Wyatt?” River looked skeptical.
“Yes. I have to—he’s—” I realized I hadn’t had a chance to update the Novaks with my good news. What a way to tell them, snot-nosed and dizzy. “He’s my mate. It’s... I had a... a scare. And he followed me.”
River’s eyes narrowed. I was doing a terrible job of explaining. “Let me message him.”
River spoke to Luis as if I wasn’t right there between him. “If he was anywhere but here, I’d have serious concerns about him being here for three days and saying he has a mate.”
“I don’t know the full details,” Luis said. “All I know is gossip.”
River’s eyebrows raised like windows. “That doesn’t sound promising.”
“River. I’m not lying. He’s my true mate. Your whole family is full of them. You know what it’s like.” Awkward silence wrapped around us. “If anyone has any problems they can talk to Justin. He’s the only one who seems to believe us.”
“Justin Perkins?” That got River’s attention. “Interesting... Well, regardless. Food’s probably not a bad idea. Do