as I added another tick on my side.
Chapter Five
The hour was up, and I dashed away my tears as I drove into the parking lot of the OB-GYN. I decided to try my BFF’s recommendation, since her guy was in our insurance network and delivered all of her kids. The doctor’s office was clean and cool with a nice grayish blue décor in the waiting room. A TV mounted on one wall played some random talk show with a host spouting about recipes using chickpeas. I sat in a row of chairs and filled out a clipboard full of medical forms.
Across from me sat two women with huge stomachs who looked like they were ready to pop. I couldn’t help but hear their loud conversation.
“I gained ninety-five pounds with ma first one an’ seventy-five with ma second. This is ma third an’ the doctor don’t want me gainin’ nothin’ at all.”
“This is my first, and I haven’t gained a lot, but my ankles have swelled up bigger than my calves. I have to wear flip-flops all the time ’cause I cain’t wear no shoes.”
Oh jeez, is this what I’m in for? I kept my head down and marked the bubbles on the form. Damn, these questions got extremely personal. Thank God for HIPPA privacy rules!
“It’s easier the second time round. The first one done stretched me all out so’s I had no trouble at all pushin’ out ma next one. Took no time at all. Only a couple hours in labor an’ done. Almost had her in the truck on the way to the hospital. I reckon this’n gonna come fast too. He’s been wrestling against ma bladder somethin’ fierce. I gotta pee all the time even when I just went.”
Please stop talking! I wished my ears came with switches so I could turn them off. Or at least mute. This was getting a little TMI-ish.
“The doctor said I might have to have a C-section. I hear when they open you up, they put all your guts in big bowls while they get the baby out. Is that true?”
“I don’ know ’bout that, but I kinda wisht I had C-sections. Both a mine have been natural. Ma first was nine pounds an’ ma second was eleven. Let me tell you, I got tore up good. Doctor had to stitch me up stern to stem on that one.”
God, please make them stop talking! My gorge rose. I’d read about the episiotomy cut, tearing, stitches… Fuck me, I wanted to run screaming from the office.
“Miss Miser? You can come on back.”
No, I’m so not ready for this! “Thank you.”
I got up on shaky knees and wobbled after the squat older nurse. Her wide hips swayed with every step as she walked back to the labyrinth of examination rooms.
“Step on the scale, please.”
To my surprise, the scale showed a weight loss. I was six pounds lighter than my normal one hundred forty-seven. At five foot eight, I was right in the middle of what normal should be for my height and weight. “The book said I would gain weight.”
“It’s not unusual for you to lose a little in the beginning. Don’t worry, you’ll gain it back.”
“That woman out there in the lobby said she gained ninety-five pounds with her first pregnancy.”
The nurse made a tching noise and gave me a wry look. “Yeah, not all of that was baby. She put on nearly a hundred pounds and had a nine pounder. I’m sure you can do the math. She’ll sit out there and tell everyone she’s an expert in child birthing and rearing, when she and everyone else knows each pregnancy is different. Just eat right, no alcohol or smoking, drink lots of water, lighten up on caffeine, and take your prenatal vitamins. Rule of thumb is around a twenty-five-pound gain, give or take.”
Babies are complicated. I kept my mouth shut while she took my blood pressure, temperature, and asked all the triage questions I just answered on the forms. Redundant much?
She left me alone with instructions for me to strip naked and put on the ugly hospital gown, open to the front. “The doctor will give you a full examination. That include belly, breasts, abdomen, and pelvic.”
Shit’s getting real. I could still get off the table, get dressed, and run. I didn’t know what good it would do, but I had that option, right?
As I was contemplating the benefits of going home to crawl in bed and ignore the world, Dr. Reule