an invisible book. “Annie. Seriously. Why are you in the hospital?”
She looks up at me and a flood of words fall out. “I got admitted last night because I fainted at the bar when we were cleaning up only I don’t remember it. They say it’s stress.”
Relieved, I nod. “Oh. So he didn’t hurt you?”
She shakes her head.
“I guess the place was a mess, huh?”
“Yeah. We have to close until the window gets fixed.”
“Window?”
She looks concerned. “Do you really want to know this stuff, Brendan?”
“Do I want to know? It’s all I’ve been thinking about since I got here. Yes. Don’t leave anything out. I want to know exactly what’s happened.”
She tells me all of it. Even about the Sergeant cleaning the money for her. As I listen, I can see it like it’s happening all over again. We’re both talking about things no one else could understand, not unless they’d been there, too. I ask her questions and she explains, and when it’s all on the table, we’re silent, staring at each other, at the memory, at nothing. Soaking it in, in our own time and feeling raw as hell. After awhile, she looks down and plays with the tube sticking out of her arm again. She glances at me like she wants to say something. I don’t feel the need to push her so I wait until she’s ready. I’m just happy she’s here with me. I feel better now.
After maybe a minute, she finally says, “Thank you.” Her eyes are filling up.
I think the last time I cried was when Sara left me, and that was years ago. And no one knew I did it. I’m definitely not going to cry in front of Annie. I push the persistent lump down in my throat and struggle to say, “For what?”
She rises and sits next to me again, looks down and picks up my hand. Holding it, her eyelashes rise up. If a person could see inside another’s soul, then I’m looking at hers. “For saving my life,” she says, softly. “Thank you for saving my life, Brendan.”
That did it. I can’t speak. She gently lays my hand back on the bed to get up.
I reach for her. “No.” I grip her arm like she’ll leave if I don’t. And maybe she would, but I really don’t want her to. She’s the only one who gets it. “You don’t need to thank me. Looks like you paid me back. Getting the gun away from him. Calling 911. And I remember you holding me here, where he shot me. I remember the sirens.”
“Do you remember jumping in front of the bullet?”
“Yeah. I remember every second of that. Like it was slow motion.”
Her lips form a thin line and she looks away. “God help me.” She closes her eyes, “I have to go. I’ve stayed too long.” She pats my hand, looking away and not meeting my eyes. I’m looking at her like I don’t understand, but when she gets up again, I don’t stop her. What am I going to do, hold her hostage?
But as she gets to the door, I call out, “Why? Stay with me.”
Annie turns her head. She holds my eyes like she wants to stay but can’t.
“Look, I feel better with you here, alright? I’ve been having nightmares and I thought you were hurt, or that I wouldn’t see you again, didn’t know how to get ahold of you. All I had was pieces of what happened. And they cut into me and sewed me back up and here I am with nowhere to go and the only one who gets how I feel, is leaving.” I close my eyes. “If I could, I’d get up and go over and block the door.”
“Wow.”
I look over from the corners of my eyes. “Yeah. I said all that.”
Chapter Twelve
Annie
Room 323.
What he just said to me melted everything, and almost my integrity, too. But I remember too clearly what Corinne did to me and I will never – and I mean never – do that to another woman. I slept with him, yes. But I didn’t know he was taken. Now that I know he is, it will never happen again. Even though I love him. Even with the hospital gown and laid up in bed with a blanket around his waist, he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. Is this the ear you can’t hear out of, Brendan?
“Thank you for saying all of that. It means