physical pain. The stabbing pain in my thigh didn’t erase the emotional upheaval, but it dulled it, made it a little easier to bear.
The red trickle of my blood meandered out of the wound and across the fair skin of my thigh. I was always mesmerized by the slowness. It was a superficial wound, and I was in no danger. I was smart enough not to go deep, not to risk hitting an artery.
Soon, it would clot on its own as it always did. I’d add some antibiotic ointment to make sure I didn’t get infected.
And that would be that.
Another cut.
Another emotional crisis averted.
So why did I feel like a complete failure?
Cutting myself was not a good thing. I knew that. Objectively anyway. I was always careful to do it in the same place—a place where no one would notice.
And no one did. Bryce hadn’t. Or if he had, he didn’t think it was anything unusual. No one else had seen that part of my thigh up close. When I wore a bikini, it was simply a little scratch. No one was the wiser.
The bleeding began to lessen, and I grabbed a tissue and blotted it up. Then, as I always did, I applied pressure until it stopped.
Perfect first aid.
No one would ever know.
No one except me.
I woke in the middle of the night.
Why? Had I heard something? I was not a light sleeper, so this was unusual. Jade used to joke about me sleeping the sleep of death.
I went to the bathroom but still had a strange feeling, so I put my robe on and walked out the bedroom door.
Something jarred in the kitchen, and I flicked on the track lighting.
Dale sat at the table, squinting against the invasion to his eyes.
“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing up?”
“Nothing.”
The kid wasn’t a big talker. I knew that.
“Are you hungry? Do you want me to fix you something?”
He shook his head.
“Okay,” I said. “Mind if I sit with you?”
“It’s a free country.”
I couldn’t help a smile. He’d heard that from me. I said it a lot. I sat down in the chair next to him. “So it is.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes. I was hoping he’d start talking, but this was Dale, after all.
“You want a drink of water?” I finally said.
He shook his head.
I rose. “All right. You let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m going back to bed.” I walked out of the kitchen.
Then, “Auntie Marj?”
I turned. Dale had never addressed me by “auntie” before. It was always Marj. I warmed a little. “Yeah?”
“Do you think I’ll ever belong here?”
I sat back down next to him. His hand lay on the table, and I wanted to take it in my own to reassure him. Would that be too much for him? Mel had warned us to go slow with Dale, and since his issue at school recently, I’d taken that more to heart than ever.
I left his hand alone.
“You’ve always belonged here, Dale.”
“Donny fits in better than I do.”
“You’re not Donny. You might be brothers, but you’re two different people. Your dad, Uncle Joe, and Uncle Ryan are all very different, and they’re brothers.”
He nodded.
This time I touched his hand lightly but only for a few seconds. “How is school? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You haven’t seen that strange guy again?”
“No. But I wasn’t making it up. I swear.”
“We all believe you, honey.”
“Do you?”
“Of course we do.”
“Did you ever tell Donny?”
“Well…no. Your mom and dad thought it best not to worry him.”
“Yeah,” Dale said. “He’s just a little kid.”
I smiled. Donny was only three years younger than Dale.
Then my smile dropped off. I suddenly understood what he meant. Dale had protected Donny from a lot of the abuse while they were in captivity. He’d taken the brunt to spare his little brother. Donny had told Talon and Jade.
“You want me to take you back to your room?” I asked.
“No. I want to stay here. Sometimes Talon gets up and sits here with me.”
“Oh?” He’d been calling Talon “Dad” until he’d seen the stranger. He’d regressed a little, but Mel had assured us it was nothing to worry about.
“I mean Dad.”
I smiled. “Whatever you’re comfortable with. Do you and he talk during those times?”
“No. We mostly just sit here. I think he understands me.”
More than Dale realized. The boys didn’t know what Talon had been through, and they wouldn’t until they were grown. Talon and Jade had already decided.
“You know, if you ever need someone to