I think it is because I lost them all to trauma. I think when a horrific event has tarnished your soul all the lighter days prior to that event are the brighter for it.”
Zoya’s eyes dulled for a moment but brightened when her lips pulled into a small smile. “My grandmama loved to tell me stories. And I loved to hear them. She knew this, so she would often tell me stories. But there was one she would tell me over and over again. Every time she told it, I would always find fault.”
I listened to her talk of her family with such happiness. At that moment I could have listened to her always. Her voice changed as she recalled her family. I never had that. Even with Inessa, I was always fighting for us to survive, stealing to help us eat.
“Valentin?” Zoya pushed. I snapped back to the present. “Are you okay?” she asked. I pressed my cheek to the hand she had left under my face. “Tell me about the monster.”
She smiled again. “Legend has it that the monster, who is as tall as the trees and as broad as an ox, lived in the deepest parts of the Tbilisi forest. For years he had been spotted by the children in the town. He would live on his own in peace, but the children all wanted to see him. But when they saw him, they would laugh at him and make fun of him, call him ugly. They prodded him with sticks, hit him with rocks, and ran screaming past where he slept to keep him awake.
“Then one day everything changed. The monster fought back. The monster waited and waited in hiding for nasty children to run by. As they passed his hiding place, he jumped out and caught them, bringing them back to his house. In his house he had a cauldron. The captured children were placed inside and cooked alive, into a hot monster’s stew.”
A laugh came from her throat, instantly seizing my fucking heart. She shook her head. I could see the water glistening in her eyes. “My bedroom overlooked the Tbilisi forest. At night I would search and search for the monster in the woods. I never saw him of course, but I didn’t know that as a child. He was my obsession. I thought of him day and night.” Zoya’s eyes dipped, and she said, “I wanted to see the monster. I wanted to speak to him. I wanted to ask him why he’d done such an awful thing. I wanted to speak to him to ask if somebody had hurt him, and inquire why he was so angry and sad. I wanted to tell him that if he tried to be nice, if he didn’t hurt and eat the children, then people might come to like him, that he could make friends. I wanted to tell him that even if he didn’t look like the rest of us, even though some found him ugly, he wasn’t. He was just different. But of course, I never did see him.”
Zoya dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her thumb and laughed again. “My family laughed at me as I searched the edge of the forest, shouting for the monster day and night. My brothers would often hide behind the trees and jump out, making me scream as they chased me over the lawn.” Zoya paused.
Zoya edged closer, until her forehead pressed against mine. Her fingers traced over my scars that ruined my face. “Valentin, to me, you are the monster of Tiblisi Forest. You have done cruel things. But just by looking at you, at that collar on your neck, the scars on this face, I could see it was because horrid things had first been done to you. Someone had you under her control; she had the means to make you act so cruelly, to hurt you and believe you were a beast.” Her hand pressed over my heart. “I believe it goes against the grain of who you truly are, in here.”
“Zoya,” I murmured, and she smiled.
Swallowing, I pressed my hand against her cheek and whispered, “Do you realize how much you’ve just fucked up?”
Zoya froze and paled. I held her head tightly in place and stated, “You are really from Tbilisi, not Kazrati, as you have argued for many days.”
Zoya exhaled a shaky breath. Her hand on my face began to shake. Her skin turned cold when I said, “Zaal