at her best friend. “You use it, I’ll get Faye to sue you.”
Lana rolls her eyes, then turns back to me. “What do you say? You going to officially join our crazy bunch?”
Am I going to put myself out there like this? Make the first move? Convince him we’re worth fighting for?
Fuck.
I am.
Fuck the past, it has no place here in the present. I don’t need the typical happy ending. I just need Rake.
I swallow. “Where is he right now?”
NINETEEN
WE find him at Rift.
The place is closed, only employees walking around the club, except for Rake, who is sitting at the bar alone, pouring his own drinks.
She puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Eye on the prize.”
I stare at Rake’s muscular back. “Right.”
Anna grimaces, then shakes her head and smiles. “Fucking awkward when the prize is my brother’s penis.”
“Anna,” I growl.
Neither of them leave.
I sigh. “I’m calling in my favor from winning the drink competition. Please leave and don’t be nosy about anything that happens here tonight.”
“Fine. I’m going,” she says, putting her hands up. “Good luck.”
I watch her leave and then sit down on the stool next to Rake.
“No bartenders on duty?” I ask, staring at the bottle of Scotch. “Can I have some?”
I need it.
Desperately.
He turns to look at me with furrowed brows. “What are you doing here, Bailey?”
Feeling a little nervous, I take his glass and swallow a gulp. It tastes horrible and burns my throat, but I manage to swallow it.
I start to take another one until he gently takes the glass out of my hand. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
I notice his hands then.
Raw knuckles, swollen and looking extremely painful. He sees where I’m staring, then hides his hands under the bar.
“Bailey,” he continues. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, how am I supposed to fix it?”
I look into his beautiful eyes.
“Everything is okay. I just wanted to talk to you. We haven’t really spoken much since that day,” I shrug, licking my lips.
I want you.
Let go of the past.
Be mine again.
“Do you ever regret the past?” he asks, not looking at me. “Do you regret dating me at all in high school?”
“No,” I say instantly, the truth pouring from my lips. “I don’t regret anything, not even the bad things, and especially not you.”
“How can you not regret the bad things?” he asks, now scanning my face.
I exhale, thinking of the best way to explain this. “I guess if something changed, I wouldn’t have Cara, would I? And she’s everything to me, so I can’t have any regrets, because my life led me to having an amazing daughter.”
Rake nods, his eyes going soft. “She’s amazing because she has an amazing mother.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, then clear my throat. I gather my courage, and say something the younger me would have said. “So here’s the thing. I want you, Adam.”
“Bailey—”
“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life,” I continue as if he hadn’t spoken. “I don’t care about what happened between us; I’ve let everything go, and so should you. And I’m not asking for much, just the chance to be with you again.”
“Fuck,” he says huskily. “Bailey—”
I put my hand on the center of his chest. “Don’t even think. Do you want me? It’s just you and me. No one else is here; nothing else matters. It’s just your energy and mine. Do. You. Want. Me?”
There.
I put myself out there, for him to either claim or reject.
The next move is his, and if he doesn’t want me, at least I can say that I tried.
He studies me for a few seconds that feel more like hours.
We look into each other’s eyes, unmoving, until finally he stands, the stool falling onto the floor, the noise breaking the trance.
He steps closer to me and puts his hand around my waist. “I’ll always want you. That’s not the issue here.”
Well thank God for that.
I reach up on my tiptoes, and I wrap my arms around him, and I kiss him like I’m starving for him.
I don’t care who’s watching.
I don’t care about anything except that his lips are on mine again.
That his tongue is dancing with mine.
That in this moment, no matter how fleeting, he is mine.
He slants his head and delves in deeper, his hands pulling me closer into him. I can feel his hardness pressing into my stomach, which turns me on even more, fuels my desire for him.