“Do you realize how casually you just said that?” I whisper, blinking furiously. I raise my voice. “You’re all fucking . . .”
“Badass?” Lana supplies, shrugging her shoulders.
I lay my head on the table and groan, until I realize something else. “What else did you guys hear? I have no idea what’s going on in Rake’s mind right now, and I’d love to know. Is he sleeping with anyone?”
They both suddenly look extremely uncomfortable.
“Who?” I growl, my lips tightening to a thin line.
Anna shifts on her seat. “I love you to death, Bailey, but Rake is my brother, and I really don’t want to be in the middle of this one. I think you need to ask him yourself.”
“There’s no way to do that without sounding like a psycho. Hey, boyfriend from high school who I’m only friends with now, who the hell are you fucking and why do I want to claw her eyes out?”
“I call total bullshit on the friends thing,” Lana says, pushing her hair off her face. “There’s wild sexual tension every time you two are around each other. In fact, I based one of my new sex scenes on it.”
“Agreed,” Anna chimes in. “Everyone can see it. You’re both meant to be together, and it’s just stupid that you both keep torturing each other like this.”
I sigh heavily. “I need a drink.”
“You need to have a proper talk with my brother,” Anna says.
“He’s not ready,” I say, and realize that I truly believe that. “He’s still hurting, and he’s not ready to even consider a future with me. He won’t see what’s right in front of him: that I’m his. No matter what. He’ll never find someone who’s more right for him than I am.”
Anna and Lana don’t know everything that happened back then, and to be honest, I don’t want to talk to them about it, which means they don’t understand just how complicated the situation is. All lines between Rake and me are blurred. Our past is messed-up, and our emotions are all over the place, yet there’s still something there, no matter how much we’ve both tried to deny it. Something, connecting us together. We can fight for it, to make it work, to strengthen the connection, or we can let it go and try to find it in someone else.
I want to fight, but I want him to fight too. There’s something we share that’s worth it—what we could have been if fate didn’t get in the way. The happily ever after that was stolen from us. It’s not going to be easy, but I think that in the end, we could get something back that we lost. Each other. The love we had. Maybe it’s a lost cause, but there’s a fine line between love and hate. After seeing him, seeing the sadness in his eyes, it’s like the coin flipped. I don’t want to hurt him. I want to heal him.
“Don’t let him know there’s going to be a future,” Lana says, grinning wolfishly.
“What do you mean?” I ask, resting my chin on my palms, giving her all my attention.
“Sometimes men don’t know what’s best for them,” she starts. “Why don’t you just tell him you want him? Be honest. He’ll get hooked, lines will get crossed, and before you know it, you’re on the back of his bike and the only one in his bed.”
My eyebrows rise. “That’s terrible advice. You’ve been writing one too many romance novels.”
Anna nods her head. “I think you should just be honest. Tell him how you feel.”
“If he doesn’t feel the same, it’s going to hurt,” I say quietly, looking down at my hands. “We might not get the happy ending. And I don’t want to play games with him. I just wish he could see what we could be.”
“Sometimes you have to play games to win. Nothing worth it comes easily, Bailey,” Lana says gently. “Just ask yourself this: Is he worth the gamble? Is he worth the chance of a broken heart? He either is or he isn’t. You’re either going to fight or you’re going to give up on the two of you ever being back together.”
“Will you always be wondering ‘what if’ if you don’t try?” Anna adds, green eyes sparkling. “You could end up having everything you were meant to have, Bailey. The love of a man who was meant for you.”
Lana looks at Anna. “Fuck. That line is going in a book.”