stop racing?” Raia asked. She clearly still had control over kehoks. Raia wasn’t sure she’d seen any rider who was so comfortable with them.
“Injury to the leg. Can’t stay in the saddle for long enough to complete the race. No more questions now.” Trainer Verlas opened the cage door. “Bring me the saddle.”
Raia scurried to the supplies by the front of the cart. She’d seen the saddle there. Hefting it out, she carried it to the cage.
The lion was lying at Trainer Verlas’s feet.
“Place it on his back,” Trainer Verlas instructed.
Cautiously, Raia entered the cage. She lowered the saddle onto the lion. He lunged forward with a roar, and she screamed and slammed against the back of the cage with her arms over her face.
Then she heard a whimper.
He was lying down, cringing, while Trainer Verlas fastened the saddle onto him.
“I don’t know if I’m ready,” Raia said. She’d reacted without thinking. What if she cowered like that while she was on him? Riders were supposed to be in command, and she was barely in command of herself.
“Of course you’re not. But it’s okay, because there’s no such thing as ready,” Trainer Verlas said. “There’s only the moment and what you do with it.” She pointed to straps on the saddle as well as to a lump of leather at the front. “You tie yourself in here. You hold here.”
At least it was a training saddle. A race saddle had no straps.
She didn’t find that overly reassuring.
Raia tiptoed toward the lion. It watched her. He was far more massive than an ordinary lion. It would be like mounting a horse. A very dangerous horse. Gingerly, she touched the saddle.
He shuddered.
“Can you really keep him from killing me?” Raia asked.
“This time,” Trainer Verlas promised. “I can’t interfere in an official race. But it’s only us today, and we’re nowhere near a track. All you need to do is hang on.”
“But if I’m just cargo right now, why do this?” It felt as if she was endangering herself for nothing. Shouldn’t she learn to control him first, and then work up to riding him? Then she realized she was questioning her teacher again—exactly the kind of behavior the augurs had always scolded her for. They’d told her she’d succeed if only she’d apply herself to her lessons instead of questioning them. She had applied herself, but she’d also questioned, in large part because the lessons didn’t seem to work for her. What if the same was true here? “I’m sorry. I just don’t want to fail again.”
“You can’t fail,” Trainer Verlas said. “All you need to do is feel whatever you feel as you ride, and then you’ll know whether you found the right answer or not.”
Raia climbed onto the saddle, and the kehok shuddered again beneath her. She could feel his shaking up through her thighs. Her trainer helped her secure the straps. She wrapped her hands around the saddle grip. Her heart felt as though it was thumping so fast that the beats blurred into one another.
“Go,” Trainer Verlas said. “Run.”
The lion shot out of the cage. Raia screamed as the wind slammed into her. She hunched over the saddle as it shook beneath her. And then the lion was running across the sands.
Wind streamed into her, stealing the scarf from around her head, yanking her hair backward. She was within a cloud of tan, as the lion kicked up sand as he ran. The sun beat on her back. And she realized she was no longer screaming.
This . . . this was amazing!
The lion ran across the sands, and she felt as if she were within the wind, part of it, sweeping across the dunes. His gait was even, gliding over the desert, but he was running so fast that the sand around her was blurred.
Riding the lion, she felt free.
And she finally understood what Trainer Verlas was saying: I chose this. That was her reason. It didn’t matter if it was anyone else’s. It was hers, and that was enough.
I am enough.
Chapter 9
Everything changed after Raia rode the lion.
Before dawn the next day, Tamra and Raia were back at the training grounds, dragging out the cart, hooking up the rhino-croc, and driving out into the sands with the black lion kehok. This time, Raia was the one to fasten the saddle, with Tamra holding the black lion steady.
“You’ll keep me alive again, won’t you?” Raia asked.
“Of course,” Tamra promised. And true to her word, she kept her focus