back. It got me stuck. My wolf got stuck on him for a long time.”
“Oh, Jesus, I’m sorry.” Quickdraw slid his hand over her thigh and squeezed gently. “I didn’t mean to bring up old ghosts, but you asked. I wanted tonight to just be fun.”
“Honestly?” she asked, scrunching up her face. “I appreciate an honest conversation. I would rather know exactly where both of us stand than stay confused.” She rested her hand on top of his because it felt good to share touch when they were baring old burdens, old memories, old hurts. “Did your bull choose Maren? Did you get stuck?”
“Stuck is the perfect word for it. I think you understand the damage without me having to talk on it too much. My bull was the one who chose Maren, but she was human. She didn’t have a whole ton of empathy or desire to understand me. She would always say, ‘Why can’t you just be a normal man?’ I didn’t have an answer because I didn’t know what a normal man was. I just know what I am. I tried to change, paid attention to what she reacted to, and started walking on eggshells because I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t to please the heart of someone I didn’t match with. I withered and watched her growing unhappier, too. I knew I was doing that to her because there was something about me that wasn’t good enough, and we both just kinda…”
“Poisoned each other?” She knew all about poison.
He bit the corner of his lip and gave another nod. “That sounds right. At the end, I wasn’t the same man who went into that relationship anymore. He didn’t exist when we signed the divorce paperwork. I didn’t recognize myself when she stayed behind in the big-ass ranch I bought her. I didn’t recognize her when she took every penny I’d earned. I didn’t trust anyone or anything anymore. So, I let the bull take over for a few years and just went full-go at the career. It’s all I had. It was the only thing that never let me down.”
That last line sang to her soul. “And look where it got you, Quickdraw. You’re the number one bull in the world right now. Look at your success. Maybe Maren wasn’t your match, but in a way, she did you a favor. She carved out the perfect sized chip on your shoulder.”
“Even so, I won’t do that to another woman, and I won’t let a woman do that to me again.”
“Do what?”
“Make me lose myself. So, this is it. There’s the proposition. I want to get to know you and spend time with you but not put any labels on us. Just take it easy and have fun.”
Just have fun. Just be casual. Could she do that? Could she do that with the lingering questions about her situation right now? But it was tempting. He was offering her a no-strings attached situation. An escape from the day-to-day life. She would have someone to text goodnight, visit, and share affection with. She would have an adventure partner. And if she turned out not to be pregnant—which was probably the case, and her wolf was just wishful thinking and acting crazy—this could be a solution for her loneliness. Because, really, was she in any position to get into another serious relationship after the walls she’d built with Matthew? “Can I think about it?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“Can I ask questions so I know where I would stand?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“Would you be talking to other women, too? Would they have the same proposition?”
“This better not be the part where you run.”
“I can’t run,” she said cheekily. “I’m stuck in your truck until we get to the bar, so you have that long to convince me of why I should consider this…friendship.”
“Oh, it ain’t a friendship. I think you’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen, and I’ve thought about that night with you a thousand times. Ain’t no friend-zone. I’m gonna make you feel good.”
“Okay, I stand corrected. You have that long to convince me of this friends-with-benefits relationship if I so choose it.”
“Better. Okay, to answer your question, I won’t be lookin’ at other girls. I don’t have interest in that now. All I think about is you. Someday, you’re gonna figure out what you did to me, but I’m in no rush to explain it. Hunter Kaid said you lost your job a few weeks back,