makes me a monster, too, but I’m strangely okay with that.
27
Malone
I know better than to wish on stars. To hope for the impossible. No matter what Aurora texted me two weeks ago, she’s not coming back. She’s not going to change her mind. She doesn’t really care, and she’ll realize that once the haze of lust passes. How can she really care for me when I’m the one who put her mother in a coma? When I tore down the vision she’d built of the woman her mother was?
I should have kept my mouth shut. Should have simply taken her hate as my due and let her walk out of my life. But I’ve always been a selfish creature when it comes to the things I want, the people I want.
Damn it.
I scrub my hands over my face and reread the report in front of me for the fourth time. The words blur and swim across the page, incomprehensible. I curse and toss it onto the desk. This is a waste of time. I can’t concentrate. I haven’t been able to since she walked out of my life and took my fool heart with her.
Really, she’s accomplished her goals whether my pulse still beats through my veins or not. I feel like I’ve suffered a mortal wound, and I don’t know how to recover from this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, how I’m supposed to act.
A knock has me lifting my head, desperate for whatever distraction the interruption can provide. “Come in.”
Sara slips through the door and closes it behind them. They move to the chair across from the desk and sink into it. “You’re a mess.”
“Thanks, Sara, tell me how you really feel.”
“If she can’t see that you’re priceless, then fuck her.” Sara perks up. “Want me to toss her off a building?”
“No.” No matter how much Aurora hurt me, I can’t condone harm against her. Even if she’s not at my side, the thought of her moving through the world is comforting in a strange sort of way. She’ll land on her feet. She’s too stubborn and strong not to. “I don’t want any unfortunate accidents, Sara. I mean it.”
Sara sighs. “I can’t control it if she’s clumsy at the top of a set of stairs.”
“Sara.”
They grin. “Kidding.”
No, they weren’t, but they also will respect my wishes in this. “Ensure that the rest of the team is aware of that. I want no accidents. No jokes.”
“Got it.” Sara leans back, draping a long arm over the back of the chair next to them. “Though if you feel that way, why not chase her down and bring her back? She’s obviously all tied up over you, whether she wants to admit it or not. I don’t get why you just let her walk away.”
I almost tell them to get out of my office, but we’ve been friends long enough that I feel like I owe them an answer. “If she chooses this, it has to be real. It can’t be because I overwhelmed her.” The thought had crossed my mind, but I don’t want a fling with Aurora. I want forever. It feels like a sudden decision and, at the same time, one I’ve been working toward for nearly ten years, since that first time with her. “She has to choose me.”
Sara studies me for several long moments. “You love her.”
“Yes.” No point in denying it. They would have figured it out eventually, even if Aurora never returns. I’m moping. I never mope.
They sigh. “Then I suppose I should tell you that she’s waiting in the lobby.”
I freeze. “What?”
“Aurora is waiting in the lobby,” they repeat with exaggerated slowness.
“And you’re just now telling me.”
“Yep.” They push to their feet. “If you didn’t love her, I would have sent her away.”
I plant my hands on the desk. “That’s not your call to make.”
“Wrong. I watch your back, Malone. That girl got to you, and she messed you up enough that I can’t trust you to protect yourself when it comes to her.” Sara pauses at the door. “I’ll respect your wishes. For now.”
“I do not want you sharpening a knife every time she and I have an argument.” This might be jumping the gun a bit, but it needs to be said. “She doesn’t present a danger to my body, and so you will not strike back simply because we argue.”
“Of course not.” Sara shrugs. “Your relationship is your relationship. I can respect that boundary, as long