the nature of your relationship with the Prince? You seem quite close.”
“We are allies.” My fingers were wrapped around the ornate carvings of my chair, digging into the wood. “Why is it your concern?”
“I only wanted to offer a warning. Be sure you two don’t grow too close before you decide whether you want him as your King. When we go to the Enclosure, and everyone sees you together, that is what they will see. A khimaer Queen and King is a powerful notion for all of us.” She gave an elegant, stately shake of her shoulders, but her eyes were gentle. “Be sure he is what you want, or else your desire might get wrapped up in the hopes of others.”
“I’ll thank you to trust me to keep my own counsel where my . . . desires are involved. I still have my sister to contend with before I can take the throne or marry.”
“Contend with?” She waved a hand in the air, swatting like Isa were a pest we all needed to be rid of. “You may as well kill her now.”
“No,” I said.
Anali laid a hand on my arm. “She has a point, Eva. If you kill Isa now, we don’t have to risk the lives that will be lost in a rebellion at Sher n’Cai. The throne would be yours. You can change the Enclosure laws without spilling any blood.”
“Yes, and then start a war of succession that could end in another civil war. Even if we do this carefully, you know as much as I do that most of the courtiers will refuse to crown me on the grounds of Papa’s blood. They’d kill to keep me from it, afraid freeing khimaer will mean they have to return their stolen wealth.”
“There is no law against a khimaer claiming the throne, Eva. They were too arrogant to consider writing it in, assuming khimaer would forever remain far beneath humans. If we return to Ternain with your sister’s body, they will be forced to name you the True Heir.”
I shook my head, my pulse thudding in my fingertips. Even if all that did work, there was no telling what my mother would do if I returned to Ternain with Isa’s dead body. “It’s not happening, Anali. I’m not ready to kill her, and even if I was, it wouldn’t be wise to start with such treachery. If Isadore and I fight again, it will be before an audience.”
“And will you be able to kill her then?” Lirra pressed.
“Yes.” I stared at them, daring Lirra or Anali to call me the liar I was.
Anali nodded, and after glares from Osir and Tavan, Lirra did the same.
I swept from the room, the precious pages of Queen Assani’s On Mutable Flesh held lightly to my chest, as the true answer to Lirra’s question clanged through me.
Would I be able to kill Isa? I wasn’t so certain I could.
* * *
“This doesn’t make any sense,” I said, furiously stirring the cup of tea that had long since gone cold.
I read the line from Assani’s journal again. Harness the light within; it will show the limits of your shift.
What light within?
So far her notes had offered little explanation in how to use my shapeshifting magick. It was filled with detailed sketches of every animal she encountered—their claws, wings, and the like—seemingly in order to adapt those features to aid in her shapeshifting. Which was helpful in its way. I could imagine that if I had been raised with the knowledge that I would one day wield this gift, I would have done much the same. I would have experimented endlessly with various forms until I found the right fit.
Instead I was trapped with wings I did not know how to use and no closer to finding a way to get rid of them. Tavan had offered to teach me how to fly, and I was beginning to think a lesson with her would have done me more good than the past hours toiling away to translate Assani’s notes.
“None of this makes any sense,” I repeated. And I desperately wanted it to. Never had I felt such fervor studying blood magick. All those lessons had been filled with dread. Although the potential mistakes I might make with this gift worried me, I did want to know. My frustration did not detract from my awe. What a gift I had been given. What a blessing from the Mother to choose exactly what form you