never gives in.
And everyday, he grows stronger, despite the countless new and old skirmish wounds. Everyday, his eyes shine brighter, even though they still swirl with milky clouds.
Secretly, I cheer him on.
Before you start thinking that I’m getting “soft,” let me remind you that it’s his blood flowing in my veins. It’s only natural that I want the source of my strength to become stronger.
And then, yesterday, I did more than watch him. I decided to follow him out of the training hall. But I did it in the guise of his daughter Inanna, just to see what it’s like to live in one of the Pure Ones’ skins for a little while. (And because I finally kicked myself in the ass to get some nefarious infiltration going).
Inanna and Gabriel had showered in the bath hall adjacent to the training room and left the area from a rear exit. I overheard them talking about taking Benjamin (my sunny, brilliant, beautiful son! Not that anyone knows it) out for ice-cream with Sophia. They wouldn’t be back for a couple hours at least, so I had a bit of time to play with, assuming Inanna’s identity.
“Wait for me, papa,” I called out to the General in Inanna’s sultry voice, lengthening my strides to catch up to him. “Where are you headed? Perhaps I can join you.”
The warrior stopped but didn’t turn around, his back and shoulders stiffening subtly.
I wouldn’t have caught it if I hadn’t been watching him so closely, but I’m extremely sensitive to everything Tal-Telal. I thought for a panicked moment that he somehow discovered my ploy.
But then he turned his head to the side and said, “I am meeting Rain for my weekly health check. It will not be very interesting, but you are welcome to join.”
I came abreast of him and took one of his arms with both of mine, the way I’d seen Inanna do, leaning slightly into him in a gesture of affection and support.
“Of course I want to come, papa. I want to hear for myself how much better you’re getting.”
His head still turned in my direction, his blind eyes scanned me up and down as if he could actually see me. He didn’t say anything as we started walking together down the corridors toward the healing chamber, but he briefly squeezed my hand on his arm with his.
I barely restrained a shudder of pleasure from coursing through my body at that small token of affection. It was nothing but a little squeeze, a slight touch. Tal-Telal doesn’t like to touch others, and doesn’t like to be touched, except by his daughter, his Mate (of whom I have yet to catch a glimpse) and Benjamin. But that quick squeeze of his hand conveyed such unconditional love that I burned with envy of Inanna.
If only this pretense could be real. If only someone as beautiful inside-out as Tal-Telal could love me too. The real me under my innumerable disguises.
And then I clamped my teeth together and told myself to cut that useless dreaming shit right out.
We didn’t chitchat as we walked together down the corridors to the healing chamber. I was still reeling from my churning emotions, and the General had never been a chatterbox. The silence was somehow soothing, not in the least awkward. I leaned closer into his side and laid my head upon his shoulder, involuntarily sighing with contentment.
He smells so good, this male. Comforting. Safe. True. I feel…protected whenever I’m near him.
Soon, we arrived at the Healer, Rain’s, formal chambers. Though she no longer possesses the Gift she used to have as the most powerful healer in the history of the Pure Ones, she is still extremely effective at what she does. At the very least, she retained the Gift of her zhen, the individual living strands of her hair—the same confounding instruments that constructed my silken prison when I first arrived at the Shield.
Besides the long, white-diamond hair that trails halfway to the back of her knees, she has paper-white skin, and the only color on her face are the sleek black eyebrows, exotic dark eyes and small red mouth. She’s always looked like a Japanese kabuki doll to me. So unnerving.
I didn’t suppress the shudder that went through me this time upon seeing her. Ugh.
“Are you all right, my child?” Tal-Telal asked quietly.
I couldn’t help a beaming smile at his phrase “my child.”
“Just a little chilly, papa,” I answered, relishing more than I should how I got to call him