groom. He was kind of cute in a tentacled way.
I logged onto the agency’s website and nibbled a fingernail still tasting of cherries. I read the introductory materials, the FAQs, the client testimonials. Watched the promo video of smiling couples horseback riding into the sunset. Did I really have the guts to bring an alien to my little sister’s wedding?
Thirty years old.
Freeze your eggs.
Little homemade cakes.
I opened an account and secured it with a password. Immediately, the site redirected me to a new screen.
Welcome to the Intergalactic Dating Agency! We’re thrilled you’ve decided to use our exclusive dating service. Everyone deserves to love and be loved, so we’ve scoured the galaxy to find your perfect match, the partner who will make all your dreams come true…
Before we can identify your Mr. Right, we need to get a little information about you and what you’re looking for. Please complete this short 45-minute questionnaire.
Forty-five minutes? That’s what they considered short? I almost gave up then, but the mental picture of my mother’s face when I showed up to dinner with an alien convinced me the time investment was worth it.
The first section was easy, just vital statistics: age (twenty-nine), eye color (brown), hair color (brown), distinguishing features or marks (tattoo of a cupcake on my left shoulder), height (5’6”), and weight (ahem). I answered truthfully, except for the last question in which I shaved off a few pounds. It wasn’t a complete lie. I used to weigh that. My freshman year of high school.
Why did you decide to seek an alien mate?
“Torqueing my mother’s gourd” probably wasn’t the right answer. Deferred adolescent rebellion? Ditto. I couldn’t be too honest, or I’d be screened out of the program.
“I’m looking for true love, and I’m willing to search the galaxy to find it,” I wrote. I didn’t think I had a snowball’s chance of finding amore with an extraterrestrial, but I’d give the agency a shot at helping me out. As long as I got a date for the wedding weekend, I’d consider this experience a win.
How open-minded are you? Are you aware aliens may differ physically, socially, and culturally from humans?
Well, I hoped so! What would be the point of bringing a button-downed preppie home to meet Mom?
“The heart does not see differences, it sees only similarities,” I wrote.
There were more questions designed to ascertain my psychological suitability to date an alien, and then the agency got down to specifics with a check-the-box multiple-choice section.
Your match will be based on your social and psychological profile. However, if there is an alien species you would prefer not to date, please indicate by marking the box. Dakonian, Xenian, Farian, Parseon, Arcanian, Malodonian, Rotarian, Slime Crawler, Dragonian…
I had no idea what any of those people were, but going on name alone, I omitted Slime Crawler. It just didn’t sound like we would be a good fit. Then I nixed Dragonian. It sounded too much like dragon. I wanted to shock my mother, not ruin my little sister’s wedding by having my plus-one set the gazebo on fire.
Our alien male clients are generally humanoid in appearance; however, they may have physical traits that humans do not. Are there any features that would be unacceptable to you? Please mark the box.
Tentacles
Scales
Tail
Horns
Antennae
Webbed hands or feet
Rotae
Non-humanoid flesh tones such as purple, blue, green, gold, red, or silver.
Phosphorescence
Claws
Wings
Extreme height
They all sounded perfect to me, although I had to look up what rotae meant. Turned out some aliens didn’t have legs, they had wheels. Huh. Who knew? After giving it some consideration, I nixed rotae because there were a lot of steps going down to the garden gazebo area where my sister would be getting married, and I would hate for him to roll down the stairs and hurt himself.
Although a gold-toned alien would be richly appropriate, and a silver one would match the color spoon my mother had in her mouth, I hoped for purple. A nice, bright violet with complementary yellow tentacles. If he glowed in the dark, that would be even better.
It took me 44.5 minutes to complete the questionnaire. I read it over, tweaked a few of my answers then touched submit.
Thank you for completing the profile questionnaire. We will be in touch when your perfect match is found.
Get Darak: Dakonian Alien Mail Order Bride from your favorite ebook seller.
Other Titles by Cara Bristol
Alien Mate series
Alien Mate (Book 1)
Alien Attraction (Book 2)
Alien Intention (Book 3)
Alien Mischief (Book 4)
Alien Mate Complete Series Boxed Set
Dakonian Alien Mail-Order Brides
(Intergalactic Dating Agency)
Darak
Aton
Caid
Sixx
Kord
Braxx
Dakonian Alien Mail Order Brides Boxed Set Vol 1
Dakonian Alien Mail Order Brides Boxed Set Vol. 2
Alien Castaways
(Intergalactic Dating Agency)
Chameleon
Wingman
Psy
Men of Mettle series
Cyborg Protector (Book1)
Cyborg Husband (Book 1.5)
Cyborg Rogue (Book 2)
Cyborg Boss (Book 3)
Cyborg Heat (Book 4)
Cyborg Mate (Book 5)
Cyborg Rescuer (Book 6)
Cyborg Commander (Book 7)
Men of Mettle Cyborg Romance Collection
Breeder sci-fi romance series
Breeder (Book 1)
Terran (Book 2)
Warrior (Book 3)
Breeder Boxed Set
Alien Dragon Shifters
Under Fyre
Line of Fyre
Other titles
Destiny’s Chance
Warrior’s Curse
Longing, a vampire romance
You’re Not Ugly To Look At, Conversations With My Husband
Naughty Words for Nice Writers, A Romance Novel Thesaurus
Audiobooks
Stranded with the Cyborg
Mated with the Cyborg
Books in Print
Alien Mate
Captured by the Cyborg
Claimed by the Cyborg
Naughty Words for Nice Writers, A Romance Novel Thesaurus
You’re Not Ugly To Look At
Acknowledgements
A tribe is a great thing to have, and I’m so grateful to mine. I’d like to thank my editor Kate Richards, line editor Nan Sipe, proofreader Celeste Jones, and Lisa Medley, cheerleader & beta reader.
The year is 2020 and the wannabe alien brides of Earth need hope and love—and blasters set to Kiss!
The Intergalactic Dating Agency science fiction romance universe is now in its fifth season! Jump in with Book 1 of any standalone trilogy from this crew of rock star SFR authors and make steamy first contact with amorous alien alphas and sexy space shifters, strong, sassy, kickass women—some curvy, some nerdy, all with the heart for adventure and exploration, fantastical fated mates and love at first sight, and guaranteed HEAs (Happily Ever Afters!) that last until the end of spacetime…
Science fiction romance puts the parsec in paranormal romance and sparks the sexy in space opera. From protector warriors and beast barbarians and savage cyborgs, to rogue rebels and ET royal lords, to found family (maybe with a baby!), SFR is where your human heart will be matched, married, and mated—claimed for a celestial chance at forever…
Warning: Strap in for possible extraterrestrial abduction, flexing man-chest and eight-pack abs, and out-of-this-world love as hot and sweet as a supernova!
Check out all the Intergalactic Dating Agency books at http://romancingthealien.com/all-series/ .